#10 Bad Endings

With July upon us and the fourth on my mind, I have had the good times to reflect on. Honestly, the fourth of July might even be a bigger holiday for me than Christmas day. It’s because I grew up outside of America, and hated it. I spent most of my time wishing I was back home where everything made sense. Eventually I did come home, and every single hardship has felt lighter in comparison. And every fourth of July I take a moment to celebrate the fact that I am home, here to stay. 

But that got me thinking: how many of our best moments are tied to our worst ones? How often can we truly say the good day came out of nowhere and had nothing to do with the bad times surrounding it? I’m willing to bet that more often than not, the two are linked in some way. The crappy day leads you to a good playlist, the bad job pushes you out into a better one, and the best success comes right as you are giving up hope. Sure, that promotion might come out of nowhere, you might meet that special person when life is going well, but how bright is that light of hope during the day, compared to the middle of the night? The same light tends to shine just a little bit brighter, doesn’t it?

And so often we try to forget the bad times, isolating them because the ugly feelings are unpleasant. Sure, no one wants those tragic memories weighing them down. But at the end of the day, they were the setup, the backdrop for those blissful highs that we cherish. My life has seen some royally crappy lows, believe me. But that’s why I say this with such confidence: I have been there. The lower my low has been, the higher it has made my high. 

I see so many people who don’t get this. It seems like they don’t get fired up about anything at all! It confuses me. I’m not trying to say that they haven’t suffered enough, but it does make me wonder: how come they lead such passionless lives? I think part of the reason is because we have such a need to only be happy. I think when you shut one out, it starts to strip the other of its power. I believe that good and bad times flow down the same pipe, and if you block one up, the other will get clogged up too. 

I think we do this a lot with our stories that ended badly. Even if we had a good beginning and middle, if it ended badly, we scrap the whole thing. Why can’t we just look at the story for what it was? Sure, it ended badly. I’m not trying to deny that. But it went well for a while, didn’t it? And sometimes, like my love of my country, that dark place makes the light shine all the brighter. After all, we wait til sundown to shoot off fireworks, right? 

But I do get why we so desperately want to write off the bad times. Those darker chapters of our lives hurt. I won’t deny that. But we need to trickle those memories and feelings back in so that we can do some real living. We need to experience our sadness to remember the reasons we have to be joyful. But it’s important to control the flow of those bad times, because too much time in those dark corners of your past can be overwhelming. So take some time to relive those sadder times, reflecting on what happy memories they lead to. If they didn’t lead to any good things, that’s fine. You will still be all the better if you clear that out of your system.

I pray this post has meant something to you, that it betters your life in some way. I pray you cherish your good times because of your bad ones. I pray that you find the strength to face your past and to reflect on where you’ve been, both the good and the bad. May your day be blessed and your ways be clear.

Until next time

May Peace be your guide.