Christmas, 2024

I was working on a series, but I didn’t want to rush it, so today’s entry comes back to basics:random rambling! It’s Christmas Eve and I’m at the airport. I’m doing an overnight flight into Christmas Day to see my family. I’m flying Frontier, though with all the threats of baggage fees I prefer the term “predator air.” I brought my iPad to blog on and at the last second decided to leave the external keyboard at home. I’m not cranky yet, but that may change. We’ll see.

Since this post probably won’t go live til February, I may as well float away from the specifics, though. Lately, I have been talking to God a lot about dreams. Can I have them? Are mine, specifically, wrong? They light such a fire inside that it makes me nervous. Fire is such a powerful force that tends to leave our control. 

And even he who lights the spark can be burnt by his own flame. Friendly fire is off here and the game is on. I have been burnt by the setbacks of my own dreams. Honestly, I have reached a point where I have given up, telling God that He’d have to make my dreams happen or they never would. Heck, I even lived through a time where I thought God wanted to keep me from my dreams. I still do sometimes.

It sounds silly to say, but it grips me like the strongest chains I have ever encountered. Darkness fills my soul as everything crushes me under its crippling weight. Knowing my dreams could never become real is more than I can bear. I have prayed about it, asking God to take it if it’s not in the cards, but here I am. 

Aching still.

I read a line in my friend's book about how he felt relieved to hear some of his own feelings reciprocated. I felt that same feeling several pages later when I read a line from someone he interviewed. My dream would be the ultimate accomplishment. The one true goal worth achieving. 

I don’t know why I have the dreams I do. Heaven knows I’ve tried to rationalize it away. 

What, then, can I say of dreams and God? I have always said that if it’s going on in your head, it’s worth addressing. Even if the fire consumes you and fuels you to wrestle with God, don’t worry-He can handle it. As I also like to say, God doesn’t hate stuff, He hates wedges. Don’t let your dreams become wedges. Open that communication line and let Him in, even if it’s just to say “dude, I’d rather you not take this.” At least it’s a start.

So I pray you take your dreams to the King. Blast them at Him, yell at Him if you have to. Just let it all out. And I pray you come to a resolution of peace. Dreams were meant to drive us, to fuel us to live real lives. I pray you find yours and that you find the confidence to let it fuel you.

Until Next Time

May Peace be your Guide.