De-mystify

My roommate recommended a podcast to me the other day that has made for a great “lightbulb” moment. I don’t want you to write me off, so I’ll skip some of the details of what the podcast was about, but the message that I got was how often we create fake problems for ourselves (if you read all the way to the end, I’ll reveal what my podcast was about as a thank you.) We do this for ourselves, and other people can do it for us. We make something seem like a big deal, impossible even at times, then we try to create a treatment that turns out to be more of a coping mechanism than an actual cure. Make no mistake, this is no bashing session. I’m not here to take shots at anyone. If anyone is going to be the pinata of this story, it’s me. 

Manhood, Christianity, making money, all these are things that I have mystified, making it seem like there was some “secret sauce” to success. And although I had even talked about de-mystifying some of your experiences, it turns out I still had some work to do myself. Sometimes I am my own best teacher. Heck, even as I write this, the post that went live yesterday was about how manhood isn’t all that complicated. I still believe that, but I think sometimes we need affirmation outside of ourselves.We need someone telling us to chill out because we are on the right track. That’s an ok thing to need, it’s just important that we are careful to safeguard ourselves against desperation, and getting those affirmations from the wrong places. 

So, how do we really cultivate a mindset of de-mystifying our lives? What a question! Think about it like this: if there’s a “secret” that someone else has, doesn’t that mean that you can learn it too? The best way to start would be to believe that you can understand what is going on around you. Write it down daily, say it to yourself in the mirror, go out and learn one new fact every day if you have to, but don’t for a second believe that you are stuck. There are predators out there that will devour you whole if you keep acting helpless. I say this not to scare you, but to empower you. You’ve got this! 

The other concrete thing I can say is seek answers. They’re out there, and you can reach them. If someone feels like they have control over you, ask for explanations. If they are vague or unhelpful in helping you understand something, raise your brow and march right out that door. Try to understand yourself as well. Try to explain your life as if you were talking to another person. If you are struggling to figure out what’s bothering you, toss around the idea that there’s nothing going on. See how that sits with you. Then write counters if you don’t buy it. Don’t accept any answer just because someone else said it. Seek to become your own expert and have a healthy dose of mistrust for what anyone says. The world is full of the loose-lipped, so if someone is quick to “help,” they might have ulterior motives. 

For action steps, I have just one: Start asking questions. If you get an answer that doesn’t make sense, ask two more. If someone wants to be vague, they are a ghost that is trying to scare you with fake power. Stand firm against them and don’t let them pull you around (that includes me, by the way. Come nag me with questions so I can grow too.) 

Oh, and by the way, that podcast was on the dangers of therapy by Jordan Peterson. I figured I’d be written off as a ranting lunatic if I said it too early, but there you go. Answers are there for you. I pray you learn to become a victor, not a victim. I pray you learn to rise above the predators of this world and into a brighter tomorrow, filled with freedom and broken chains. 

Until next time

May Peace be your guide.