#1 EVOLVE: A life beyond perfectionism

The other day I was having a conversation with my roommate about self improvement. He offered me a quote about always doing better, to which I responded with a quote from fight club. “I say never be complete! I say let’s stop being perfect, let’s evolve! Let the chips fall where they may!” And as a recovering perfectionist, that got me thinking: is that the secret to overcoming this mindset that plagues me? Could it be that I have just uncovered the secret to hurdling past the cage of self-criticism? Over the next two weeks, I am going to find out. 

And before we go any further: yes, haha, I just broke the two rules of fight club. I know that’s the joke to tell, but if I have to hear it every post for this two-week journey, I’m going to spit! Let’s get that out of the way now. 

Ah, so many good questions to answer on this topic. I’m excited to dig into this. I’m thinking we’ll start by looking at exactly what perfectionism is and where it comes from. After we take some time to examine it, we will observe specific questions to attack the core of the mindset and change it. Ultimately, I want to find a way to overcome the discouraging idea that we aren’t perfect, and perhaps never will be. Though I don’t fully accept the mindset presented in fight club, I’m going to use that as our launching pad, revealing the ideal  mindset through reactions to different aspects of what is presented in the movie. And don’t worry, I’ll keep the profanity out of this house for now.

But the reason this came up is because I’m something of a perfectionist. I get in the zone and can’t leave it until everything is exactly as I intended it to be. Lately I have started to wonder: where does that come from? What is truly going on in my head and can I rearrange it? But that’s a great question: why should we try to change it? Couldn’t you argue that perfectionism just makes you highly driven and good at stuff?

I mean, I guess, but the question is: at what price? If you’ve ever met a perfectionist, you’d know that once we’re in the zone, we’re typically not fun to be around. And if you’ve ever been one, you’d know that the zone isn’t typically a fun place to be. Sure, your work might turn out just right, but the journey to getting there is a nightmare, to the point that it’s rarely worth the cost. And, I mean, come on! If you can’t see (or worse: don’t care,) that all it produces is misery, I have a few questions about where you are in life.

Ultimately, I think there’s a better way to be successful in life. I would actually venture to say you can actually become more successful if you let go of the need to be perfect. Plus, no one can actually be perfect all the time, so you’re basically setting yourself up for failure. Even if such a thing were possible, it would be a very high-stress endeavor, to the point that it’s not actually worth living anymore.

And I’ll try to say this everywhere I go, but I’ll say it once for good measure here: I’m preaching to the mirror on this one. If I sound like I’m being condescending, shake it off a little, because I’m in the crowd that I’m talking to. I’m writing this to help myself as much as you, so remind yourself of that as I write. I’m not perfect, but somewhere deep down, I expect myself to be. And I’m tired of it all, so I’m embarking on a journey to make it all stop.

So let’s embark on the journey of a lifetime! There may be battles, there may be sorrows. We may need to wrestle with some tough questions and face some uncomfortable thoughts. But at the end of the day, life will be all the better for it. I pray this finds you well and that you embrace the journey as we embark.

Until next time

May Peace be your guide.