#9 Fake Friends

Some of the best moments of the movie are the result of Quasimodo’s three stone companions. 

Those gargoyles that go from giving the best advice to creating the best comedic moments, and everything in between. And though we may not all have gargoyles that follow us around, or inanimate objects that we talk to, I think we all adopt cheap substitutes for real friendships from time to time. Things like books, movies, or even therapists become a convenient replacement that we use to try to fill the void of loneliness. And while I’m not here to knock them, per se, I am here to say that nothing should replace the process of making real friendships. 

I, myself, have had several great friend-substitutes over the years. My main one was always music. I’d watch videos of different bands performing live, or doing goofy interviews and felt like I was a part of something. Then I would go to school and ignore most of the people around me. It’s not to say you have to be friends with everyone, but remember the biggest danger of the bell tower: everything feels more convenient, more comfortable, more painless and ultimately, more artificial. 

And that becomes dangerous because, like I have said so many times before, the real world is full of higher risks. Real people might hurt you or disappoint you. But somewhere deep down, we all know that the real world is the place we ought to be. The place we have to go out and conquer. We all know deep in our souls that the real world offers far more than stones that can or can’t talk.

But, like I said, fake friends have their purposes. Even though I could be talking to a friend, I still write a lot of my thoughts out first. It helps me get a little more initial control before I decide to take any action. And books have helped me understand life in an organized, systematic way that I’m not sure I could have gotten from a real person. So things that you could, technically, get from people aren’t necessarily bad. 

But there’s something very essential to opening yourself up to people. To knowing and being known by other strangers like you, wandering through the world trying to figure it all out. There is something magical, something life-giving about hearing your thoughts, your struggles, come out of someone else’s mouth and echoing them back to build a sense of community. I can’t truly describe it, but there is a certain type of joy that comes from not being alone in the world. 

But it is good to have those imitation-friends around. They’re safe. They’re secure. They create a sanctuary, a safe haven for when you just can’t handle the world. And I do believe that we all go through periods of our lives that feel a little more lonely. Where there’s no one really around to share ourselves with. It’s in those moments that we need something to keep ourselves stable. Because otherwise, we will fall prey to desperation. And when we do, we will fall into the arms of the first person that passes by. And that can lead to all sorts of trouble! 

So I pray you learn to identify your fake friends. That you accept that stone can’t talk, but that you learn to use what you have to make good, wise decisions. And I pray you never fall to desperation, because that isn’t a healthy place to be. 

Until next time

May peace be your Guide.