#10 I don't get it

I have become more and more aware of the fact that I am quite hard on myself. However, the thing I struggle with most is seeing value in my work when I’m just below my standards. I will have these moments when everyone else says I’m doing great, and I’m upset that I’m not doing better. I want to see things through their eyes. What is it that makes me so great? How is it that everyone can say that I’m doing well and I’m so blind to it? Are they just being biased, or is there some box that is being checked off that I’m not seeing? This is the question I want to answer today.

Remember, to overcome perfectionism is to evolve to a mindset that is focused on your ability to keep getting stuff done, instead of your ability to get stuff done perfectly. It’s a shift into the bird’s-eye view, seeing the big picture instead of focusing on small details. If you look at things in these terms, it might be the case that you are doing quite well. You might not be the best at your current job, but the fact that you have managed to not leave it is impressive. Take a look at the big picture of how far you have come, and you might find what everyone is talking about. 

And you know what? Sometimes there are only a handful of moments that really matter. Sure, if you do crooked business day-in and day-out, that’s not good; but there’s lots of breathing room in our everyday life. The decision of which job to take might mean more than whether or not you put in the extra overtime every single day (in fact, you may find yourself burnt out quicker if you do. What’s the perfect choice now?) How often do we really try to tell the difference between these types of moments? 

That could actually be a fun exercise: sit down and map out your major moments. The big ones that really changed your life. This could be everything from breaking up with someone to which career or job you picked. List those big things and be honest about how you handled them. I would be willing to bet that you handled them far better than you are giving yourself credit for. 

On top of that, take a look at where you are in life. Is it really that bad? Sure, there’s always someone out there doing better, but does that really make you worse? No! You’re doing just fine! For starters, you’re alive. That’s a wonderful thing. You have a job or school. And since you have managed to stay in that job or school, you are obviously not being too much of a nuisance. And that probably also means you are responsible enough to keep up with life’s demands. We let a lot of things slide off the radar when we shift our focus onto the negative. 

We neglect a lot of blessings in the name of perfectionism. Just the other day, I was driving home from work and I saw a board in a fence that was breaking. I thought this was funny, because it was in a line of probably over a hundred boards! Ninety-nine good boards stood before me, and I only saw the bad one. That’s how we treat ourselves. We act like we are a fence of bad boards, when it’s one or two slightly damaged pieces. Sure, they could be repaired to look nicer, but are we really that bad off? More than likely, the answer is “no.”

So I’d encourage you: take some time to appreciate all the little things that are going right, that you are doing right. They may seem trivial, they may seem small, but let them stack up. The beach is made up of millions of tiny sand particles. And while sand particles are pretty insignificant on their own, together they make up the beautiful beaches we love so much. Let those insignificant things stack up and you will see that you’ve done a lot of things right, and only a few things truly wrong. 

I pray this post finds you well, and that God shows you those little rights in your life, so that you can ultimately see yourself as God sees you: worth just a little more than you give yourself credit for. 

Until next time

May Peace be your guide.