Love Hurts
- Christian D'Andre
- Feb 7
- 7 min read
Going In
While love hurts is pretty far from being my most anticipated movie of 2025 by a long shot, it still hit my radar months before its release. I have a lot of life stuff to do this weekend, but I’m still hoping to see this one. If you’re reading this, it means that my teacher didn’t assign me any homework, or I otherwise got it done in time to see this movie.
First thing I noticed about this movie is that the husband dude from everything, everywhere, all at once is playing the leading role. He played a simple silly billy, so I’m thinking he will do good for the role they are setting him up for. Basically, this is nobody, but with love and Jackie Chan-style improvised fighting. And if you haven’t seen nobody, let me explain it like this: it’s about an ex-killer that one day decides to repress his rage, only to realize he can’t keep it repressed. So he un-represses his rage and goes nuts. I know, I know-John Wick did it first, but Nobody was my favorite parody version, so it’s a nobody-like.
And it’s no coincidence that it’s releasing around Valentine’s Day, as the thing that un-represses rageman’s rage is him meeting up with his former lady. (I'm getting all this from the trailer, by the way. None of this comes from spoilersville.) But I didn’t get heavy romance vibes from what I’ve seen of the trailer. I’m expecting an actiony-action movie with enough silliness to be my favorite kind of action movie: one that doesn’t take itself too seriously.
Speaking of humor, I’m excited to see the unique spin of goofiness that the main character will bring to the table. He has a lot of energy and seems like a funny guy. Looks like he can bounce between energetic goofball and serious ninja man. As far as how crazy they get with the two sides of this character, we will have to see. But I am hopeful.
As far as settings go, it looks like some pretty normal stuff to me. I’m hoping that this is one of those movies that leaves a lot to be discovered. It seems like a lot of the footage comes from the same few scenes, and they look to be mostly early on. I know that could easily be wishful thinking, but one can dream, right?
Lastly, let’s turn to the supporting cast. I didn’t recognize the main antagonist. He plays in a bunch of martial arts movies, including some Jackie Chan stuff. But sadly, I still don’t recognize him. As far as Ariana Debose, I have seen a few things that she’s in, like Argyle, and Kraven the Hunter. I liked both of those. But I feel like I’ve seen her in something else. I’m probably confusing her for some other actress, because I looked her up on IMDb, and nothing felt like the match I was looking for.
Alright, that’s my first impressions. Time to finish donating plasma and see how things go!
Coming Out
Well I hate to say it folks, but that was mighty disappointing. For starters, the comedy was pretty lacking. They tried to throw in some valentine-related jokes and funny moments, but a lot of them felt about as good as a flat soda. I still got my dose of sugar and caffeine, but it still feels like it could have been a lot better. I can’t quite put my finger on why, but a lot of this movie felt that way. Something was always just a little bit lacking.
I think some of the characters needed work. The main antagonist was pretty forgettable. He was one of those characters that was just sort of…
There.
Which is really strange, given it’s by the producers of both John Wick, and Nobody. I mean-Nobody has my favorite antagonist-introducer scenes in all of cinema history! Guess it shows how much those little title cards matter. Or, how much I understand that it matters maybe. But it wasn’t just the main villain who lacked anything more than a name. The leading lady felt somewhat bland as well. The character had some good motivations and all that, but the way she was portrayed felt incredibly hollow. It reminds me of those people who spend all their time in and around a movie trying to remind you of all the little things that don’t line up with real life. It’s like this character was made for them. Ariana Debose felt like a real-life person, and it reminds us all that an entirely undramatized life makes for a pretty boring movie. It has to have a little pizzazz, a little spark of magic, a special touch to help us remember everything. And when you have a movie that claimed to be as crazy, dramatic, and “over the top,” like this one did, it’s a real bummer that it failed to deliver.
The other thing that bothered me about the casting is the chemistry between the characters. Well, I should say it’s more the lack thereof. I didn’t feel the hatred between our hero and his older brother much at all. And it looked like our hero and his love-interest had a good fifteen years standing between them. I also couldn’t bring myself to believe that they had any kind of feelings for each other. The spark simply wasn’t there.
The plot wasn’t amazing either. I felt like a good amount of screen time was wasted on side characters who were only there to keep the plot running. I found myself scratching my head a lot, confused about what in the world was going on. Then, twenty minutes later, it would all make sense-this character made that absolutely bizarre decision because they needed to help further the plot later on. It felt pretty odd and I wish they could have moved things along in a more believable way.
Then the finale came and I was genuinely confused. I pride myself in being able to follow a movie through its twists and turns, but this twist hit me so far out of left field that I was just plain annoyed. Usually when you write a twist ending, you lay all the pieces out throughout the movie and force the viewer to reinterpret them with one final detail. This movie just added stuff that I didn’t know was going on, and in such a way that I felt like it was more bizarre than entertaining. The plot, overall, reminds me of working in retail: it’s all held together by a few stubborn monkeys and a lot of duct tape.
But it wasn’t all garbage. That’s actually what kills me most about movies like these: they’re such a roller coaster. Where the characters themselves are a flat soda, the action is actually a half-decent pizza. It’s not some high-end, fancy pants thing that’s made fresh by a five-star chef, but it’s not the $1 stuff that you pull out of the freezer at Walmart either. When the fights got rolling, they were really good. They did a few stunts I hadn’t seen before, and did a few shots that really felt right. I was impressed by that.
The gore for this movie is also really high. If you aren’t into that, it may bother you some. It felt unnecessary, really. I think there were a few times where they used it to further the plot when they otherwise didn’t know how. Other times it was supposed to be funny. There was one moment where they tried to use gore to show you just how evil a character was, but it came too late and I had already lost my interest.
Apart from the gore, the music was pretty good. I had a few scenes that felt far better than they needed to. There were also a few spots where they tried to use it to ham up the fight scenes. I got what they were trying to do, but I felt like they missed the mark on those. Again, I’m not happy to dump on this movie like this. It actually had some potential. I figured at the very least, someone else might like it, given the focus on character development and the different character’s motivations all fitting together and whatnot.
But I checked right after the movie to see how it was doing, and so far it hasn’t been very good. As of writing this, it has a 23% on rotten tomatoes. It’s still early, so we’ll see what audiences and other critics say about it, but I won’t be surprised if it remains a flop. I have to admit that this movie was a mess. Not the fun kind of mess like The Dictator, or the Scary Movie series. No, sadly this one is just bad. It’s disjointed at times and feels like it’s still struggling to find itself a real identity. It struggled to really sink itself into a firm stance to really run with. Is it a Valentine’s day movie? A comedy? A love story? An action flick? No one really knows!
The Verdict
If you saw the trailer and thought that this would be a fun time, let me push you off that fence. It isn’t. There aren’t any particular moments that really made me wince in agony of bad acting or directing, but I left the theater with a very firm feeling of disappointment. I will be curious to see how it does as its opening weekend begins, but I don’t have high hopes. It’s a mess that still needs more polishing. Maybe then, it could have become a masterpiece.
So let me know your own thoughts. Were you looking forward to this? Did I push you off the fence? Did you see it? If you did, what did you think of it?
Until Next Time
May Peace be your Guide.
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