Love Like Warts

When I was in my early teens, I got a really stubborn set of warts that popped up on my hand. I don’t really remember how I got them, but daggum, if they weren’t stubborn as heck! So stubborn, in fact, that I had them all the way until I was about 26! Ironically, everything lined up to get them healed as I came back to church. “Coincidence,” right? But not only did this serve as an exciting moment to be rid of an age-old curse, it also served as a metaphor for healing, one that I still use for myself to this day. I wanted to share it with you because I am all about the gameplans of life and improvement. But before we begin, you should know that I need to be a little bit graphic in describing my healing. If you’re squeamish or otherwise don’t feel like reading about this, I suggest skimming a little bit. It’s ok, I’ll allow it this once. 

I’ll admit, I just did one of my many double-takes on my hand where my warts used to be. Even though they have been healed for almost a year now, I still live in denial. “They’ll be back,” I often tell myself. But no, they still haven’t returned. They’re gone for good! Let me tell you the story of how this happened. So right around the end of covid in 2021-2022, I was working in an apartment complex about 20 minutes from home. One of the big parts of my job was to go into freshly-vacated units and do a big clean-out. Sadly, with Colorado rent being so high, many people would make a run for it when they knew they couldn’t pay the rent. Others didn’t feel like moving half their stuff, so they just plain wouldn’t! Either way, many units came up clean, but filled to the brim with goodies that were ripe for the taking (half my furniture and personal belongings are actually from old units. It was a fun time!) 

So on one particular day, my boss took me to a “jackpot” unit. All the starbucks paraphernalia and well-kept condition told me an interesting story about this person and where she might have been. Among all the books, self-defense weapons, and even a brand-new chromebook, I found something that would later bring about the end of an era. In one of the kitchen drawers, I found a box typically sold at Walmart for wart removal. By this point, I was about 23 and was beyond hopeless about my warts. They had become my companions by this point, but I figured “what the heck, it’s free so I might as well!” So I grabbed it, stuck it in my car, and all but forgot about it. I think I tried one or two treatments, but they don’t recommend those as often, so I still kept the bottle and its accessories for a few years. 

Fast forward a few years, and I was doing some spring cleaning. That same stupid box was sitting in my medicine cabinet. I was feeling very strongly about throwing out stuff I wasn’t using, so I figured I would use it up so I could justify throwing it all in the trash. I would be lying if I said that stuff didn’t hurt a little, but it was definitely worth the try. Every now and again I would get a wave of motivation to fight back. I tried duct tape, apple cider vinegar, garlic, I even started washing my hands for a while! (That was a joke, I do that anyway. Chill out, y’all!) But nothing gave me victory over these tiny suckers. After a while, I just made excuses to give up. I said to myself “they weren’t hurting me and they don’t technically do any harm, so whatever, I guess.” 

Anyway, I used up the bottle and still had some motivation to keep going, so I stopped by Walmart for another box. Except, I was having some trouble finding the exact same box. What I found, instead, was this little bottle of this stuff called “salicylic acid,” that not only claimed to have more uses per container, but the overall cost was cheaper by a landslide! I quickly grabbed five bottles, knowing I had to give this a shot. I also grabbed another brand of the liquid nitrogen stuff that I had been using before. If I was going to hit this, I was going to hit it hard. I got home and immediately started putting it on twice a day: once in the morning, and once before bed. Dang, there were some nights that were downright unpleasant! Some nights it was a deep itching, other nights it would throb, and sometimes it would feel just…weird. Kind of like when you hang your arm over the back of your chair and it turns purple and you feel like you have big fat hot dogs for fingers. I make it sound like a nightmare, but it really wasn’t that bad. It was just a surprise to be feeling so much, and a little nerve-racking to be managing this basically on my own. (I know I’ll be in trouble if I don’t acknowledge that my mom was right there on speed dial to help me through this, but I got the impression that this was new territory for her too. I mean, how often do you try to treat 10+ year old warts?!? That’s just not normal!) 

And lo and behold: it started working! Even on days when I figured it wasn’t doing much, I said to myself “this stuff’s cheap and not too hard to use, so I’ll just keep going until it’s over.” I made sure to give myself one day a week to recoup, as I’m clumsy, so I accidentally got it on my non-wart skin from time to time. Other than that, it was twice a day, six days a week. This went on for months. But during this time, I had also gotten back into going to church. I figured “why not pray about this too? I’ve got nothing to lose!” So I did! As I was brushing my fingers with that highly acidic gel, I would pray. “God, heal these warts, I pray. Rescue me from this great plague! Deliver your servant from this terrible, horrible evil! Amen.” 

Ok, I’m being a little dramatic, but yes, I prayed for God to heal them for me. Now, when we pray about stuff, we expect it to happen in the blink of an eye. Sometimes I expected to wake up in the morning, peel a layer off of my fingers and be free! But it took months. Four and a half, to be exact! I had started to wonder if God was listening at all. I wasn’t doubtful, but more unsure. But, either way, I was just going to keep going regardless. And eventually they did peel, they did rot, and they did drop right off. I never had a day where I knew it was officially done. Heck, a few days I had to sit there and study one of my normal fingers to recall what it was supposed to look like! I wasn’t sure, but one day I decided to lay off the treatment for a bit. Between my hand burning, and the appearance of a normal finger, I was going to give it a try. But I had another bottle ready the second I saw signs of wart! (I still have a bottle at the ready. Just in case.) 

And that’s my second double-check of my fingers I have done today. 

I think God let this draw out for a reason: to give me a metaphor for my spiritual healing. You see, one of the reasons I really pressed in and pursued my physical healing was because I also felt like God was telling me to be healed. “Be healed.” The words were stuck with me, but it felt like the primary focus was on my mental and spiritual healing, to say very little of my physical state. I just figured “well, if I’m to be healed, why not give this a go? It’s sticking to the theme of the season and whatnot.” 

But there’s a metaphor to be learned here: I think my spiritual and physical treatments are the same. I know this will sound corny, but stick with me, because something in my gut has been telling me that this is how it works. If you sit in God’s love, His acceptance, and His forgiveness, every day, it will start to soak into you and choke out the bad stuff. It will heal you just by being in the presence of light, love, and acceptance. You put it on day after day, week after week, and watch as the ugly-gunkies start to decay. Sure, some days might sting, throb and swell. You might have days where you feel like a part of you is being ripped out of your life. Friends might leave, your lifestyle might change, your income might drop, but guess what? It’s all part of the healing. 

I’m getting pictures of a few times of significant progress. On more than one occasion, I would slap on my morning dose of acid, only to have the itching get to me. It would itch and itch, and eventually I couldn’t take it anymore. I would start to scratch. I know, I know: you’re not supposed to scratch wounds and things, but let’s all be honest with ourselves: we all do it sometimes. But that’s how this stuff works: it chokes out the bad stuff until it falls away. I remember one time I peeled away a major piece. I was convinced that this piece was going to rip right off, and I was going to look down and see the bone of my finger! It felt like I had ripped a major chunk of myself right off, and that there would be nothing left. But, surprisingly, I barely even bled! I sat there, checking on it every five minutes as my inner-egyptian went for a dip in denial (see what I did there?) But even more surprisingly, it started healing! In place of the nasty wart, God started giving me my fingers back! It was truly a miraculous and scary time that I will never forget.

That’s how spiritual healing has been for me. I find that the bad stuff: the habits, the mindsets, the friends and choices, they often just start dying on me. Sometimes you have a “scratching” moment: a fight with a friend, you officially commit to ending an old habit, have an epiphany, and so on. Sometimes you are left feeling a sort of emptiness. Like there’s nothing left of you. That’s a very weird thing to say about a time after finding God, but it’s true. You feel like the floor is being ripped out from under you once again, and you’re stuck wondering why. But I have found in those times of wondering, God doesn’t leave me hanging. Sure, it may feel like I’m stuck out in the hallway, but I know it’s while my home is being renovated for bigger and better things. Sometimes those renovations take a while. Painfully long, almost too long, if you ask me. But God keeps me going. He makes that hallway as nice as He can, reminding me that more is still to come. When I used to fall, it would feel like an endless pit, a void with no end. Now I feel like I have been void-vaccinated. Voids still kinda suck, but I know that it’s all part of a plan, which eases the burdens. Nothing is done without purpose with God. That’s the sweet part of the gig. 

One of my biggest habits to change was that I used to swear a lot. I know, it’s shocking: I wasn’t always the perfect little angel I am today. But after a while, I noticed the habit started to fade away. It just naturally stopped happening. I still do it from time to time, but when I do, it tastes bitter in my mouth. I pucker up and think “ew, did I just say that?” I didn’t have to put in the work, it just started going away. The same goes with some of my mindsets: the more time I spent with God, the more the old started peeling off me, like an old snake’s skin. I have had breakthrough moments, where God points something out to me, and I have had subtle changes that I barely even notice. The point I am trying to make is that all you have to do is show up, remind yourself daily of God’s love for you, and His redemptive sacrifice to make you perfect in His eyes, and you, too, will start to see the scales turn to skin in the arms of His redemption. 

I know it sounds like magic. Well, it is and isn’t. It’s called faith, which is accepting the truth that God exists undeniably. It’s the difference between understanding the bible as a fairy tale and seeing it as a living reality, as real as whatever you are using to read these words! It’s all about clinging to that moment that you found Jesus and letting Him build upon that belief that all this is actually happening. I could do a whole blurb on that. I probably will at some point. The point of today’s message is to remind yourself daily, twice-daily, hourly if you must, of God’s love for you. Pray and ask Him to bring healing into your life. It may not be instant, it may not be what you expected, but God loves taking care of His children, and He’ll love taking care of you. All you have to do is let Him. 

So, for today’s action steps, go find a verse that really hits home about how God cares for you. Pray for one, then go hunting for it. Don’t stop until something really hits the spot. Translate the sentiment into something personal for you if you have to. Things like “you’re not invisible,” or “you’re not too broken to be fixed,” are sentiments that are totally cool to hold onto. Write it down…everywhere, then remind yourself of it when you wake up and when you go to bed. Remind yourself even more if you can, but don’t sweat it if not. Cling to these things like they’re a solid rock in a storm.Eventually, you will see the changes in your life as God transforms you into something new. And, above all else, pray for His participation in your journey. Before you know it, you’ll be kicking butts and taking names! Know you are loved and permanently accepted by a God who can love you without fail.

Until next time

May Peace be your guide.