#10 Magic-Killers

Magic killers can come in many forms. Sometimes they sneak in, disguising themselves as friends telling you to be “normal.” Other times they pick on you, calling you names or saying mean things. You know they’re out to get you, but it still hurts all the same. What do you do when people still manage to deflate you, no matter how hard you try to get them not to?

This is a tricky thing. We tell ourselves things like “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” But man, how I wish that were true! I often feel like I would rather have someone bruise my ribs than say something nasty about me. Why is that? Why do the words people say hurt so much? Why do we react so strongly and how do we make it stop?Honestly, I think the answer is that it isn’t necessarily other people’s words that hurt us so much. No, they don’t overload the camel, they’re just the straw that breaks its back. Think about Lewis. Would you say that he started the movie as a brave, confident lad who took no crap from nobody? 

Hardly. 

He was a scrawny kid, terrified of everything that crossed his path. Sure, he had his spark, but he was such a pushover that he was barely able to keep it. So when Tarby came along, it didn’t take him much to get Lewis to stop wearing his signature goggles. He got Lewis to take them off, not because he was such an incredibly persuasive person, but because he tapped into all of Lewis's weaknesses. That’s what’s going on here. The conversation is rarely about you and the other person. It’s about you and you. 

So that makes the solution kind of obvious, no? The way to stop others from steamrolling your confidence is to look inward and strengthen yourself. But I know that’s no easy task. It might feel like you can’t just introspect your way out of the people that pick on your day in and day out. Sometimes it may feel like those thoughts will never really go away. 

I know I’ve been there. I still get panic-ey a lot. Fear likes to keep a tight grip on me. And although I make some progress, some days I still feel so buried by all the “me” that I still have to sort out. Sometimes it becomes exasperating, and I throw my hands up and shout “screw it all!” But that’s when I remind myself that you don’t have to sort through every single thought. The deeper you can go and heal in your head, the more of those little things will sort themselves out. It’s kind of like changing the direction of your own tide. Things just naturally start flowing where you teach them to. 

And eventually it all begins to come naturally. Sometimes after I make a big breakthrough, I go out and notice myself acting a little differently. I’ll look at situations and go “strange, that used to really bug me. Didn’t realize this was tied to that.” But I do think it takes some practice to start working through your own thoughts, so take some time to pace yourself if looking inward is a new practice for you.

And there’s also God. Couldn’t talk about getting all cleaned up without bringing Him into this. Although I did put in the legwork, He’s the coach that laid the plans out. He brought the insights, the ideas, the tactics and tricks that really made it all happen. God is an amazing healer, and I’d still be a nervous wreck without Him. I recommend getting into the bible every day, even if it’s just for a few minutes. It may not feel like it has the answers, but things just might start popping up as you go through your daily life. Who knows, might as well give it a shot. 

I pray your inner life is blessed this day, and that you begin to strengthen yourself from the inside out.

Until next time

May Peace be your Guide.