#10 Mistake?

I think we all come to a point where we doubt ourselves and the decisions we have made. We ask if, maybe, we made the wrong choice somewhere down the line. Maybe we know we don’t want to turn back, but become shaky about the option we picked. And maybe it’s right to question it. Maybe it makes sense to as well. Maybe there’s a better option you hadn’t thought about. What do you do then?

First of all, don’t freak out. Adding panic to the mix is bad and it won’t get you anywhere. What’s more, it’s unnecessary. No matter where you are, more options are always around you. There are other jobs in your field, other potential dating partners. Your current option isn’t the only one, and it never will be. Think of yourself like Adam and Eve in the gardens of the beginning. There are, and always will be, plenty of trees to eat from. You just need to learn how to tap into them. There are plenty of roads that lead to where you want to go.

Now that we have that out of the way, let me point something else out: you got started, and that’s worth a lot! They say the first step is the hardest one, and it’s rarely the last one. Even if your first attempt is a stumble that lands you back on your butt, pat yourself on the back because you started. Sure, it may lead to more stumbles and rough patches. Heck, some moments may even feel rougher than before, but what’s important now is that you have entered the struggle. You are refusing to be complacent and miserable any more. 

But you want to be sure that you look at your situation carefully. Reflect deeply and make sure that it’s your surroundings that are the problem and not you. Honestly, it’s really tricky to know the difference. Sometimes something is a personality mis-alignment. Other times, it can be nothing more than a difficult situation. No matter where you go in life, crappy situations happen. That’s part of the gig. I have found that things have a way of working themselves out if they’re the wrong fit, so the best response is to try to grow as much as we can where we are planted. The more we focus on what’s going on inside of us instead of out there, the more we will grow. And then we will be all the better for it. 

But is there a point where you need to admit that the step you made was an oopsie? Is it being too passive to say that you should kick back and let life unfold? Great questions indeed! I think the problems could actually be both internal and external. You could be wrestling with some things inside that need to be ironed out while in a situation that could be better. In a previous post, I talked about how you should take a chunk of time to stick it out when things get tough. Basically, you block out a chunk of time that’s long enough that things would most certainly get better if such a thing were possible. During this time you can reflect on the situation you are in and try to grow from it. But if things continue to suck, you can make a calculated move in another direction. But at least you have made the effort to grow from the situation, and to take control of the desperate feelings.

And that’s the thing: growth can happen anywhere. The pressures of life have an excellent way of bringing things up, but you don’t need to put yourself through hell to develop as a person. I think we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to get it right the first time. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems pretty easy to assume that the opportunity in front of us is the only one, that the path we are supposed to walk is fragile and narrow. What if the way is flexible? What if there are many doors that all lead to the place we want to go? I think it would be valuable to keep that in mind as we make decisions. 

Ultimately, the further we go in life, the more we will see the patterns that we need to correct. I, personally, have always leaned towards looking inward and letting life sort itself out. God has been pretty accommodating of that for the most part. But it’s like I always end these posts with: may peace be your guide. Sometimes you make three dozen breakthroughs in a tough situation, and then get kicked out the door. Sometimes it takes you a while to make the shift you need to and you wind up growing in the transition. At the end of the day, the only thing I can truly say is to follow that peace. When you have that, you will know you’re on the right track. 

I pray that you have found some guidance from this post. I pray that you have found some clarity and that maybe you have figured out what step you need to make next. I pray for your wellbeing, that your path is made clear. 

Until next time

May Peace be your Guide.