#11 Pride

If we are learning to get up, who are we learning from? I have always found the concept of self-improvement to be a funny one. If you can only become as wise as your teacher, and your teacher is you, then how are you going to get any wiser? I say nay! Let someone else show you the way! Find someone who has been there and get tips and tricks from them! Don’t make a fresh batch of mistakes if someone else has made them already!

But doing that involves a battle with pride. Believe me, there is very little that’s tougher than admitting you don’t have it all figured out. But what is pride, anyway? When I talk about pride, I’m mostly talking about the desire to be self-sufficient, to be good enough on your own. We all want it on some level, especially us men (if you don’t believe me, make one of us ask for directions and see what happens.) 

I have had a lot of conversations on this topic, and here’s the one that has stuck with me. You actually make yourself worse by making yourself be more independent. You give yourself a load you can’t carry, putting all these extra responsibilities on your shoulders. It’s funny how backwards it is: by letting go of your need to have it all together and ask for help, you become better at stuff. But if you try to take that shortcut and expect yourself to simply “have it all together” all the time, you won’t grow. Part of learning to get up is learning to admit that you fell down because you didn’t know what you were doing. 

And that’s really hard, folks. I know I still suck at this. I probably don’t go a single day without my pride pushing me to do something silly, foolish, or even wrong. It’s really hard to admit that you need growth. But you know what? Everyone can tell when you’re faking it anyway. Why put on the mask to pretend when it isn’t fooling anyone? I say this now, but I know I’ll slip up to pride a few more times. I’m still a work in progress, I guess.

So where do we go from there? How do we work to swallow our pride and ask for guidance? Oof, tough question! Honestly? I don’t know. I’m still here figuring it out. I have started by simply hacking it. I have started forcing myself to admit that I’m confused or disinterested by someone’s conversation. Or maybe I just don’t know what something is that they’re talking about. It hasn’t gotten me all the way there, but it has been a start. I think if you force yourself to do it a time or two, it gets some momentum going. Then it gets a little easier and eventually you wind up doing better in the long run. Especially when you can mentally contrast the punishment of pride with how well you function when you put it to death beforehand. And eventually you start actually growing, like you originally wanted, and that pushes you to keep at it. But it all comes with time and effort. 

Maybe that was part of what Jesus was talking about when he talked about “dying to self.” It would also make sense of when He talked about losing your life to gain it. But it’s all so much easier said than done. Even when stakes are high, it’s so much more tempting to cling to pride than to live in free humility. That’s where Jesus comes in and rescues us, helping us to overcome these obstacles to be able to live better lives. But we have to be willing to take part in the process and to give up the pride that holds onto us.

I pray this post has guided you to living better. I pray you join me as we overcome these obstacles and conquer these battles. May your pride be murdered and your life be filled with freedom!

Until next time

May Peace be your guide.