#6 Stay in Limbo

As you look to transition, I believe it’s important to take time to sit in limbo. I know limbo is rarely a really fun thing, but I believe it’s necessary to press the reset button before we begin anew. Think of limbo like a getaway, a vacation of sorts. It’s a week off between jobs, some time to be single before starting your next relationship. Whatever your situation may be, limbo is some time to really take a break from the thing before you go back for another round. This will give you several benefits, and will ultimately put you in a better place when you transition into your next thing.

The first benefit is that it will help reset your expectations. If you don’t take some time to walk away from the old before stepping into the new, you may carry some of your old expectations with you. You may even start trying to heal some of your old wounds in your new situation. But you need to leave the past in the past and accept your new experience for what it is. Be intentional about this. Hash out all the expectations, norms and patterns that cluttered your old way, and take some time to recognize that they are now habits of the past. 

For example, my old workplace had a big thing about laziness. Everywhere I went, the ideal workplace was one where you had as few responsibilities as possible. Even the most passionate computer nerds would brag about jobs they got that involved less work than where they were before. I get wanting to have a low-stress environment, but if the coolest thing about your job is that you don’t have to do it, it nurtures a resentment for anything you do have to do. Ultimately this leads to a place where you hate working in general, and resent a big chunk of your life because you have to do something you don’t like and be somewhere you don’t want to be. 

But my resentment for working is a thing of the past. I’d rather have hard work. I am hungry for work to take pride in. Forget an easy, meaningless life where nothing meaningful gets done and resentment grows stronger by the hour. Not everything in the workplace will ever be perfect. No job will be 100% exciting, but I’d rather be driven to work hard than crushed by the burden of a dead-end job. I say that’s a better way to live. 

Things like that should be addressed. Your situation will be changing, and you must be intentional about reflecting on the changes so that you can adapt properly along with them. You may enter a new relationship expecting it to be like the old one. You may move into a new house, afraid that it will creak and leak in the same way that your last house did. Even if you don’t want it to, you may carry these expectations with you. Take the time to reflect on everything your previous chapter was, and to put it in the past. Write it down. Say the words “but that was the old way. A new day is dawning and I don’t know what it will bring. I’ll just have to find out.” 

And I’m not saying nothing will be the same. If you do the same thing a lot, it will feel similar, no doubt. But the difference is in the ability to be pliable, flexible, and adaptive. Maybe you formed some bad habits at your last job. Maybe your last relationship scarred you pretty badly. It’s good to take some time to reflect on that, to heal, and to ultimately put all of it into a box where it truly belongs: the past. 

So take some time to reflect on things that were. Reflect on who you were, and whether or not you need to focus on changing anything in your new chapter. Pray into these things and see if you feel compelled to rewrite your old code. I pray you find the time to reflect on the chapter of your life now closing. That you take some time to intentionally sit in limbo to reflect, re-see, and rewrite your life as you know it. I pray your journey is blessed, and that your heart is made pure.

Until next time

May Peace be your Guide.