#9 The thing about growing...

I’ve been doing all this talk about growing, but I haven’t acknowledged something about growing: it’s hard. Very hard. In a way, you are trying to be someone more, someone you’re…well…

Not.

Growing is such a tough thing, how can we go about cultivating change? I don’t really know. I know I have had periods of time in my life where someone has told me that it’s almost like they are meeting a whole new person, but how I really got there, I can’t really explain. Sure, I did a lot of digging, reflecting and healing, but changing? I don’t know. It has, perhaps, never felt like I really changed. 

I have only ever grown by the grace of God, which has been such a step-by-step thing that I can’t really formul-ize it. I simply get started, and something pops up that feels like the lightbulb moment. Then we rinse and repeat the process. Sometimes it’s a video on youtube, other times it’s a song, other times it’s just a thought that flashes through my head. All I can say for certain is that these insights, these moments, feel more relevant than the rest. They have a little extra oomph that I have never experience otherwise. It’s sort of like a song that plays at the right occasion. It all feels too real to deny and it has to be from upper management (my affectionate term for God.)

And I will say, He likes to flood me to get my attention. I’ll feel tasked with one thing, and two disasters will strike out of nowhere, and a third something will pop up out of the blue. I’m still sitting on unresolved problems that I’m not sure if I am handling properly. But I’m always reminded of one of the stories from “The Chronicles of Narnia.” 

In the fourth book (but third movie) called Prince Caspian, our heroes are confronted with a big problem: War is at their doorstep, and they are severely outnumbered. The three older, more “rational” children lay out their battle plans, strategies, and options to survive the onslaught of enemy soldiers, desperately trying to figure out how on earth they will get through this. All the while, the youngest is sitting in the corner, convinced that they are all barking up the wrong tree. 

“I think we should wait for Aslan.” She says quietly, yet confidently

To the foolish, this sounds very unwise, indeed.But it sounds so irrational when she says it. And to believe that He’s out there, that He has a plan and that He wants to win their war for them is exactly what He wants from them. 

I used to think this tale was just a story, but this year I have learned how true this tale really is. I have seen how often we grow impatient. How, in our own eyes, we know best. And the minute that something bad happens to us, we want the discomfort to end. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no fan of being in pain, but have you ever met someone who has it all? It makes for an imbalanced life when you don’t have any problems. Eventually, your mind starts making problems, just to stay sane. When it comes to pleasures, enough is never enough.My point is that things will happen if you keep your focus on them. I think of it like showering. You don’t have to pump water to create pressure to blast yourself with precious cleaning power. No, you basically just stand there and let the water do the work. 

Translation: you read the bible, and those who understand it, and wait for more “click” moments to guide you. 

I know it sounds crazy, but it has seemed to work for me so far. And as I look back, I see massive changes in my life from following God. Sometimes, all we have to do is to take a deep breath and pray about all of the troubles in our lives. But this isn’t a key to superpowers, sometimes you might not see the outcome you wanted. But if you continue to accept that you aren’t the wisest being in the universe, and that you aren’t the one in control, then you will start to see all of the good that is coming from this scary waiting game. Inspiration is out there, you just have to set yourself up for it. 

Here’s another way to think of it. Imagine you and a friend wanted to drink a gallon of water every day. You carry around a half-gallon jug with you everywhere you go. Your friend, on the other hand, leaves a smaller bottle by the desk they tend to sit at. Who is more likely to actually complete their goal? I mean, sure, something might happen where your friend goes nuts when they happen to be sitting down, but all odds point to you getting there first because you’re keeping your goal in your mind all day long. If you set yourself up for success, then it’s more likely to come to you. And that’s just common sense. 

So take some time to take a deep breath, and to set yourself up for success. Make inspiration part of your daily routine and pray for those moments that flicker like city lights in the night. I am confident that He will always show up for those who wait on Him

Until next time

May Peace be your Guide.