#3 The Trouble With Magic

Here’s the big problem with your magic touch: sometimes that magic takes control. It becomes a force that fights with the should-be’s of life. Sometimes you become caught between all the things you ought to do and the way you want to do them. You might know you’re caught between a very clear, inconvenient right and a fun and easy wrong, but still the war wages on. What’s the solution? Where is the path that leads us out of this mess? Ladies and gentlemen, I think that’s the question I’d like to answer today.

First of all, let’s examine the two sides. On the one hand, you have your magic touch. The spark that drives you. Your sense of “weird” that causes you to do things that might get you into trouble. Your spark may tempt you to simply be annoying, like playing saxophone at 3 AM because “them’s m’best jammin’ hours.” Or it may get serious, like the temptation to bend the rules at work because it would help you get things done faster. 

On the other hand, the “ought-to’s.” The rules you need to follow, the people you probably shouldn’t annoy, and the status quo that you shouldn’t seek to overthrow. I know that we often talk about the rules as a bad thing, but they maintain order so that the world can function in this world. If the world were left unchecked, the world would devolve into one big mess. Even though the rules aren’t “fun,” they keep us from doing unhealthy things like loafing around all the time, or eating chocolate-chip cookies for dinner every night. Without the law and order that we so often resent, the world would fall to pieces!But I can’t help but wonder: is there even a debate to be had, here? A part of me says there isn’t. We should all just get in line and follow the rules to a T and not anger the powers that be. And the goal of our lives is to enjoy ourselves within the perfectly rigid structure of the boxes we choose to put ourselves in. 

But there’s an ever-growing part of me that wants to push back against that. It comes from my gut. It says that there’s enjoyment to be had in bending the rules a little. In being cheeky and pulling some strings to make things a little more fun and convenient for myself from time to time. And if I’m being honest, I’m really torn between the two. Because when you fit yourself perfectly into the mold of the world, you give up some of that personal spark that drives you. When you put the world in front of yourself, you become its slave. 

I know it sounds a little dramatic when you say it like that, but can you say that I’m wrong? If you always work within the ways of the world, you are basically saying that it takes priority and that you must always, 100% of the time, take your place under it. If rules are never bent, then they basically take the throne in your mind. And the question that follows is whether or not that’s a good or bad thing. 

Make no mistake: I am not saying we should start ignoring all the rules, all the time. The thing that I am struggling with is the passion that seems to die a slow, painful death as we fall in line with the system. Trouble is, sometimes it feels like the only way to truly get that passion back is to break the system entirely. It isn’t enough to schedule a personal day off, we have to spontaneously call in sick. We can’t just soundproof our basement, we have to go outside and play the sax at 3am. It almost feels like doing wrong is what brings us life. 

Is this because we are, deep down, truly evil? Can we blame this entire problem as a wrestling with our fallen nature and ultimately, with sin? I’m actually leaning towards another answer. I think it’s more about us trying to rearrange our own brains. Although we have a lot of norms that are for our own survival, our brain sometimes turns them into walls that turn us into prisoners. Sometimes something deeper still is calling out to be free so that we can keep growing and moving forward. Something deeper inside of us is trying to keep us from dying a deeper death. 

Of course, I’m no expert. This is just the guess of an amateur based on his personal experiences. But what I’m getting at is that the entire need to bend the rules is nothing more than the deep need to burst through the barriers set up by our own minds. It’s not about you and the job, or anyone else for that matter. It’s entirely about you reshaping you. It’s as simple as that. 

But the question, then, arises: is this right? Should we try to control this impulse in order to be better people? This all boils down to a fear of one’s own power. I think this fear is pretty fair, actually. The more power you get, the more it has the chance of taking over and controlling you. The more power one holds, the more one can do with it and the more one becomes tempted to do so. 

And please know that I’m not coming from a palace of judgment. No no, I’m not sitting here on my throne, scorning the rest of the world. I’m actually tossing around this topic because I made a rule-bendy decision today. Honestly, I’m embarrassed to even be admitting to it. Basically, I got sent to our main office to pick up some supplies for our upcoming school semester. I had discussed it with my supervisor the day before, and his attitude seemed to be that he didn’t care if I came back that day or not. At most, I would be back for the last two hours, which would make for a really weird day. 

But by the time I got out of the entire supply-pickup rigamarole, it was 11:00 AM. The drive back to the jobsite was almost an hour, meaning I would get back right around noon. From there, I would have worked about two hours and made the hour and a half drive home. All this, when the office I was at was twenty minutes from home. So yeah, convenience was a factor at play. 

But my fellow first-years were grabbing lunch, and joining them would mean that I would get back around 1, joining just in time to help wrap up the day and make the long drive back home.So I joined them, had lunch, and went home early. All in all, my day wrapped up far earlier than it would have otherwise, and I spent little-to-no time on the jobsite.

At this point, I feel like a kid, trying to justify skipping school, or calling in “sick” when I feel just fine. My gut tells me there’s something deeply essential to these types of moments that are the spice of life. Even if I get in trouble for it (which, I’m not really convinced that I’ll get more than a slap on the wrist,) I feel very alive for having done so. Like I somehow made the right choice. It was a rule-bendy, inconvenient, questionable decision, but I honestly feel like I nurtured my spark, my magic touch that fuels my life and makes it worth living. 

And that’s the takeaway that I leave you with: sometimes, we have to push back on the norms of life. We have to give ourselves a little room for the magic of life to seep through and grow a little bit, even if that means being a little inconvenient. I pray your magic grows and that your spark lights into a magnificent bonfire. 

Until next time

May Peace be your Guide.