#11 When Failure Stops You

Sometimes we get on a path that feels like the right one. We tell ourselves that this is our dream, our destiny, that nothing else will ever be the same because we have found our purpose in life. But then time passes and life gets rough. Our path takes us through some tough stuff and we aren’t sure how we will ever live through them. We question why we started down this road in the first place, and eventually we up and quit. What do we make of things then? How do we deal with the fact that things got too tough for us to handle? I have a few things to say about that.

First of all, you can’t know everything about a situation ahead of time. You have to date that person to learn that they’re a bad fit. You have to work in that job field to see if it really fits. Sometimes, there’s no other way. If things got so rough that you had to change course, it may be the case that you aren’t as crazy about it all as you thought. That’s ok. You have to learn about things in order to figure out the best path. That’s an essential part of living! Sometimes you don’t have all of the details until you get in the middle of things. Other times, you don’t realize how important (or unimportant) something is until you experience it. For the longest time, I thought I absolutely had to work outside. It was essential to me. Until I tried it, that is, and I discovered that very few days are truly ideal for outside work. On most days, the weather is a nuisance at best, and a trial at worst. Things like that are best learned through experience. They are insights that can’t be gleaned any other way. 

Second, sometimes you need to be pushed out of the ring to be able to fully evaluate things. I’m reminded of Batman Begins, when Mr. Wayne tells a young Bruce Wayne: 

“Why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves back up.” 

This quote never clicked for me until this past year as I have truly tried to pick myself back up. I guess I have spent more time running than I thought and never truly did any maintenance work on my life (ironic, since I was a maintenance man and all.) 

But it’s so very true! We need to learn how to make a comeback, and sometimes we need to get fully knocked down to see it. Sometimes we have some bigger things that need to be plucked out of us. Bad habits need to be stopped, mindsets need to shift, and sometimes those things can’t happen until we are out of our element and in a different environment. 

Sometimes it’s easier to see all the things we could improve when we feel like a chapter is closed. We might say things like “yeah, looking back, I put up with waay too much of that.” I don’t know why it is, but that hindsight is always 20/20. And sometimes that helps us move forward properly. I remember during my years out of the trade-game, I reflected on how prone to burnout I was. It became very obvious to me how often I pushed myself way too hard. I saw that it was part of what was causing me to quit so quickly. I learned how to slow down and say “no” to projects that would push me to my limits. Sometimes you need to take a step back to recognize where you need to improve.

So maybe you are feeling the call for a reset period. Maybe your life is feeling like a dead-end runway and you’re running out of road. I pray for wisdom for the choices you have to make. I pray you are reminded that failure never truly stops you, that it is simply a lesson for you to learn. I pray that you find the heart to let failure stop you. Maybe you need to get back up, maybe you need to get off your current highway and onto a better road. Whatever the case may be, I pray for guidance for you in your journey.

Until next time

May Peace be your Guide.