#4 A force for change?

I can’t count how many times I have tried to dig my heels because I thought I could make a difference. Most of the time, I wind up sinking with the ship instead of doing much of any good. I’m not trying to say you shouldn’t try to help people, but don’t take such a thing lightly. Being the force of change is a tough thing and you have to have God sending you out. Otherwise, you have good odds of drowning. I say this not to discourage you, but to keep you from wasting your time when you could be producing more fruit elsewhere. This is what I want to dive into today: can I be the force of change? 

Often, I see this in myself and others. We say things like “perhaps God is calling me to be a change here, to be a witness to these people or in this workplace.” I’m not trying to be one to question God. With everything, pray about it and make sure that’s what God wants from you. I say this because many people, myself included, recklessly charge into situations like this and set themselves up for failure. If it’s you against a crowd, friend group, or workplace dynamic, the odds of you changing the whole place by yourself are pretty slim. The one thing you can control is yourself, and if your workplace keeps pushing you to compromise your morals and values, you don’t need to hold yourself to the responsibility of saving everyone. That’s not how it works. 

Like I said, I’m preaching to the mirror on this one. I have had a few friend groups that God has pulled me out of as I have prayed into them. It sucked, because I liked some of those guys, but they weren’t changing and neither was I. I spent time with them as I was able, but the number of opportunities dwindled because they were always off partying and I was not. The way I have always handled lifestyle differences is to tell people that they are allowed to be themselves around me, as long as they let me be myself as well. That means you can drink, smoke, do drugs, and swear around me; but if I tell you I don’t want to do those things, don’t push against that. 

I see this as fair. Rarely is it a good idea to try to force someone to do something, even if it’s the right thing to do. Sometimes you have to do your own thing and wait until people are curious about the way you live. Sure, there’s a time and place to lovingly call someone out for their shenanigans, but that isn’t all the time. If someone wants to do something, they’re going to do it. If you stand in their way, they will make an enemy out of you, and that isn’t productive for anyone. 

I think it’s a false sense of righteousness that pushes people to try to change everyone. Believe me, I get it. I think it comes from a good place. We tell ourselves that they just need Jesus, who is the solution to all their problems. “If they just do it like this, they’ll be cured! How stupid these people are! Why can’t they just do what they ought and be saved?!” How often have you joined me in saying something along these lines? You’re probably dead right about it too. But if they don’t want to be saved, they’ll find a way to keep living the way they want. You have to give them some breathing room to want it. 

I say all of this because I have often burnt myself to a crisp by taking a nose-dive into the deep end of a “group needing saving.” Often as I have prayed into these situations, God has pulled me out of them. I don’t doubt that God has the power to equip me to ride into battle for these people, but that wasn’t the plan. Maybe I wasn’t ready for that fight, maybe it was too much to handle. Maybe the endeavor would harm me more than help them. I don’t know the mind of God, but I have seen this happen enough times that I am confident in sharing this wisdom: don’t push yourself to be the hero if a door is closing. When Jesus sent His disciples out in Luke 9, He tells them to go preach about Jesus, and if people reject them, shake the dust off their sandals and keep moving. I think we are to have the same mindset: be there, give them a chance, but don’t force it upon them. Don’t write them off entirely, but don’t push the matter. If you can’t build a good relationship with someone, odds are you won’t be able to influence them at all. I don’t recommend this because it’s the easy way out. Heaven knows I’m no fan of that! I say this because you could be spending your time better elsewhere, sharing the good news with someone else. And as much as I hate to say this, this goes for your workplace as well. If you are in a workplace that is overrun with evil, the most likely outcome is that you will become corrupted yourself. The larger the reach of sin, the more likely it is to swallow you up, not the other way around. It won’t work out in your favor, so it’s important to be open to the option of leaving. You can be a light to your workplace, but if no one else wants to shine with you or, even worse, if they’re trying to snuff it out, then you should be ready to retreat before they do so. There’s a very real possibility that they will succeed, and their wickedness will spread to you. God will rescue you if you are praying regularly, but I believe this is a conclusion He might try to bring you to.

Ultimately, I don’t want this to be a message of hopelessness. I don’t want you to think that God can’t change people if He wants to. But God gave us the ability to choose, and that means some people will make the wrong choice. I have always held myself to high standards, almost too high at times. God has had to remind me to cool off and to choose my battles wisely. Sometimes you have to shake the dust off your shoes and say “this isn’t my fight.” Not as a cop-out, but so that you can focus your energy on something else that God has called you to. 

I understand that this can feel selfish. I get that it can feel wrong. When I spell it out like this, it never feels like it sits quite right with me. Giving a crap about myself has always felt that way, so I try to look at defense like a discipline. I must maintain my strength, whether I like it or not. And sometimes certain battles can drain more than they gain. If you try to live like that for long periods of time, it won’t end well. You don’t have to win them all. In fact, if we are talking about shining God’s light, you can’t do diddly-squat without Him. That’s kind of the whole point! So pray about where God wants you, and be open to the idea that you won’t be the knight in shining armor you might have expected. Humble yourself and accept things as they are so that you can lead an effective life where God has truly called you. 

Until next time

May Peace be your guide.

ACTION STEP: Pray about where God has called you, and where He hasn’t. Look for doors that are opening, and doors that are closing. Write down your results so that you can remember them later.