Cage the Pain

I have always had a particular interest in pain. It’s not because I’m having a bad time. In fact, life is going quite well for me at the moment! But one’s relationship to pain defines one’s life. You see, you can claim to be a lot of things, but when pain comes to visit, he takes anything that isn’t nailed down. Pain solidifies things and makes them permanent. I have always believed that if you can work on your response to pain, you will be set for life. 

Ok, I know I make that sound too easy and that’s my bad. I don’t think it’s as easy-peasy as it may seem. Even with everything I have been through in my life, there are people who have gone through more and have made the most of it. That blows my mind. Just last night I was reading about a husband who takes care of his wife who is bipolar. It’s hard to imagine being in his shoes and not being a jerk or leaving her to rot. If I were in his shoes, I can’t say I would do too well. 

But it also got me thinking: with all this talk I have been doing on pain and stress, does anything I have to say measure up? Could I give some of the advice I have been writing to someone like that? No doubt, it’s a tough question. My answer is yes and no. Obviously, if you march up to someone’s house, kick down their door and command them to be hopeful, that won’t go very well. It’s not wise to try to make people joyful and happy when they’re depressed. It simply won’t work. 

So, what? Do we just leave them there to be depressed? Do we let them give in to the terrible thoughts and feelings that haunt their nights and ruin their days? Well, no. I think this is where you can make a difference simply by  being there. Not so that they can be happy or feel better, but to know that they aren’t abandoned. When you can’t figure out the reason why something is happening to someone, you can make it crystal clear all the reasons that are lies. They are not being punished for a sin they’ve committed. They are not terrible people and God does not love them any less. 

These reminders of what the pain is not calls to mind a metaphor that came to mind the other day. In the days of the old testament (or, any era of “ye olden days,” when folks went off to war,) what would the victor do with the enemy they just defeated? Would they be led into a giant pit and slaughtered? Sometimes, but not usually. No, typically what happened was that the conquered people became slaves to the victor. That way, they could use them for everything they could, from household servants, to slaves for manual labor, and everything in between. You see, it would be a waste of a resource to simply kill them off. I know that sounds cold, but stick with me. I promise this is going somewhere productive. 

I think we need to conquer and make pain our slave. Those “not’s” I mentioned earlier, those are the bars to his jail cell. Sure, he has a little room to pace in circles, giving the illusion of freedom, but he’s not. He wants you to think that he has control over you. Sort of like in a lot of action movies when the main character gets captured. They make it look like it’s all over, then our hero pulls a sneaky move to narrowly escape death (Shanghai Noon’s jail scene comes to mind. Great movie if you haven’t seen it already.) Pain is looking to do that. He’s looking to pull a sneaky move and trick you into unlocking his cage. But you can’t do it! You can’t let him out. You’re the jailer and you hold the key to his cell. You can let him out or you can keep him in. 

But, once again, I don’t want to poo-poo anyone’s struggles. Life is rough to say the least! Sometimes it feels like the pain is unbearable. But that’s when we need to be reminded that we don’t have to face it alone. God, for one, is always with us. He will be there to catch us in His own unique way in order to meet our needs. I know I’m typically more concrete, but this one is entirely out of my hands. He has a way of showing up and I can’t control Him. I can only point to Him and remind you that He’s always there no matter what. I highly suggest praying and asking Him to show you how He has been there. He just might open your eyes to a thing or two. 

But the other thing is that God uses us to bring His love to others. That’s why it’s so important to go out and be a light to the world: we are bringing God to them. Ok, don’t let it go to your head and think that I just called you gods. No, that’s not quite right. I like to think of us like the lines in the road that keep us from crashing into each other. On the surface, you could say we just worship paint. But it means something more in this context. It’s similar when you do something nice for someone. Sure, it’s always a wonderful thing when someone cooks a meal or sits down to spend time with you, but it means even more when you are doing it to show them that God loves them. You may or may not know how much it means to them, or in what ways you might be changing their lives. All you need to know is where to go and what to do. And that, He will happily provide. 

And let’s not underestimate the power of presence. Sometimes just being there with someone to keep them from going through life alone is enough to make a difference. It may not feel like much, but it can have a big impact on them. Even if you don’t feel like you’re making much of a difference, it really can brighten someone’s day. You don’t need to understand it, (though, I would like to.) you just need to act. That’s all that matters.

For today’s action steps, I want to focus on keeping pain as your prisoner, not the other way around. Make a list of “not’s” to hold the pain in. Read passages like John 9, for example, that remind you of reasons that are NOT the source of your pain. Remember, it’s not because you have done something wrong, because someone upstairs hates you, or anything like that. Work on this list for yourself so that it can really land at home. 

Go help someone else cage their pain. Sit with a friend, make someone a meal, buy someone a card. Find someone who is struggling with their pain and take some time to figure out what would have the biggest impact on them. Also pray for them. It may seem like sitting in a closet thinking, but praying is a big deal! 

Hope is out there. Freedom is out there. You can’t get to it alone, but with God’s help, you can make it there. I’m not saying it will be easy, I’m not even saying it will be what you expect. The journey might be long for you, but don’t you dare give up the fight! Cling to Jesus and He will take care of you in His way and His time. I pray all is well for you, and that you learn to overcome your pain.

Until next time

May Peace be your guide.