Calm in the storm

Recently, I did an entry about the importance of staying calm. I believe it’s important, and today I got to put it into action and, I gotta say, I have a lot of work to do. 

In case you didn’t know, I moved a few months ago, and just recently gave up my old keys. A few days after my official move-out, I got a “bill” from my old apartment. I wasn’t surprised to see it, because I knew they were predators, but it shook me all the same. I immediately fired an email back with bitter demands for explanations (if you have never seen me get angry, be grateful.) Hours went by and I heard nothing back. I spent the next several hours checking my phone every thirty seconds, frantically waiting for a response and corroding my sanity with every passing second. I remembered my mantra about staying calm, but the pressure was so overwhelming that I struggled to keep it together. The money was in the bank, so I wasn’t in danger, but I knew it was a lie. I knew they were asking for something that wasn’t rightfully theirs. Hours passed and I didn’t hear from them. As of writing this, it has been a day and a half, and I have heard no response. I’m confident that they’re lying, but the problem is you never know when it’s truly over. I guess I’ll have to write the rest of this story if it finishes.

I have two major points in telling this story. First is to stay calm while standing up. Don’t panic when you read an alarming email (this is actually how most scam emails go through: they shut off your brain by making you panic. Don’t fall for it!) The email with my “final bill” was subtly worded to sound urgent so that I wouldn’t think too hard about it. Had I panicked, I may have paid them what they don’t deserve. Honestly, that would have been easier too. But I did my best to stay calm and remind myself that these claims were bogus. I am entitled to my money and I can prove it. You have to remain calm and think things through. There are whole courses on recognizing scam emails and whatnot, so I won’t go down that road, but know that being able to think things through will get you far in being able to not be fooled.

But the other thing is something I need to work on: being at peace. Man, I am spent from the day I put myself through. What was the danger? I suppose I might have put myself closer to a real threat by leaving my savings account empty, but in terms of this issue, I’m fine! I think taking control of our actions is an important step in staying calm. Did I need to be checking my phone every five minutes? Not really. Sure, it’s nice to have a problem fixed immediately, but look at the stress it’s costing! 

It reminds me of how I play video games: I recklessly push my offense without any sense of defense. Defense almost feels like a bad word to me. Why protect yourself when you could attack? There’s no need for defense when you have no opponents! But life isn’t like that: there are always more opponents. I need to always be considering the next step, always saving some energy for the next thing. Maybe pacing myself means limiting my email-checking times (really, regular phone-checking is a problem in general. Maybe that’s where we need to start.) 

We need to learn to be wise about our wellbeing as we discipline ourselves. I’m not a fan of the whole “self-care, treat yourself, spoil yourself sometimes” mantra, but I consider it like emotional budgeting. If you had a bill that took up half your monthly budget, and it did nothing but suck your wallet dry, wouldn’t you cut it out? I know I would. Being precise with how we spend our time and energy is important, and I think that’s a better focus for something to be put under the title of “self-care” than being selfish. 

That’s my big takeaway: be calm by budgeting your energy. Don’t give your precious resources away. Save them for the things that matter, the goals you want to be marching towards and the things you want to be doing with your life. Ultimately this will push you into a healthier future. 

I hope this entry finds you well, and that you learn how to stay calm and take control of where you spend your energy. 

Until next time

May Peace be your Guide.