#9 Cherish Your Progress

Going along with yesterday’s post, a good way to stop pushing yourself so hard is to look at the progress you have already made. I was reminded of this as I was driving home today. Like I do so many days, I started praying. Today wasn’t the worst of days, but it was enough to soften me up a little. I told God all about how I felt like I was too small for this world, and that I just wasn’t big enough for it. Something inside of me echoed the question:

“Do you want to shed this burden?” I have been thinking a lot about flying lately, and how we need to shed all the weight that holds us down to do so. This thought fell snug into that train of thought. 

“Of course!” I replied. “But if only-is such a thing even possible? What does that even look like?” I barely had time to ponder, because an answer came immediately. 

“Close your eyes.” This wasn’t meant in the literal sense, but metaphorical. As in, “stop focusing your thoughts on all of the things in front of you. Don’t think so much about all the way you still have to go. Let go of all the steps you have to take.” The thought ended there for a moment. Yesterday’s post was still fresh in my mind, so I had started biting back against the voice that told me that I wasn’t doing enough. I had already begun to believe that I was pushing myself too hard. But what happened next took this idea to a whole new level. 

You see, when I closed my eyes to all that was still in front of me, my gaze shifted backwards. To all the places I have been, all the ways I have grown, and all the things I have learned. I have done so many new things and picked up so much new information that it would be completely unfair to accuse myself of not trying. Sure, I may dodge a growth opportunity here and there, but to say that I’m being a bum is ridiculous! 

And that’s when I realized that the antidote to this self-brutalization is a good, healthy reflection. I have always hated the idea of accepting yourself because it has felt like a cop-out for the incapable. I would rather have the sting of a good loss than a participation trophy, and I think that’s how it should be for everyone. If you are going to feel good about yourself, it ought to be because there’s something truly there to feel good about! Just showing up doesn’t count for squat. 

But if you keep on moving in life, growing beyond your personal best day after day after day, that’s something to celebrate! Take a minute to think about yourself ten years ago. You were pretty different then, right? I think it’s fair to say that we all have grown a little over the years. And if you haven’t, then maybe it’s high time you got up and moving! But you have no excuse to neglect the things you have done to take care of the plant that is your life. It may not be where you want it to be, and you may still have a long way to go. But it’s always important to cherish the progress you have made towards your goals. 

I like to think about it like arguing with myself. Let’s call the voice that pushes me to keep going Clyde. If I were talking to Clyde, he might come out loud and proud with his big, booming voice. He might shout at me, telling me that I could have handled today better, and that I’m a loser that won’t get anywhere because I missed this one opportunity. 

And you know what? I might be inclined to agree. I could have handled today better. But I could always handle any particular day better-that’s life! But I would have to disagree on one thing. Although there are points to be conceded, the premise that I am entirely void of growth and progress is entirely incoherent, due to my steady progression over the course of my adult life. It’s illogical to accept the premise that my life is devoid of hope for redemption, or even the achieving of my personal goals. 

Did that last paragraph bore you? Here’s a translation: use logic! Arguments have a great deal of power, because you can use them entirely outside of what you’re feeling. Get down to the fact-of-the-matter. Try to find a counter-argument when you are feeling a little less sure of yourself. Ask yourself “if someone were to try to argue that I wasn’t this way, how would they do it?” It will also detach you from the situation, helping you to see that there are multiple ways of seeing it.

You could also think of it like this: if a friend were to try to argue me out of this foul funk, how would they do it? What would they remind me of to help me see that I’m not so bad? This may take some practice. After all, if you already knew all the great things about yourself, then you wouldn’t have fallen into this state of self-deprecation, would you? So be patient. Give it time. Eventually, you will start to see all the good things that you have done and all the ways that you have watered the plant that is your life. 

I think this is why it’s so important to celebrate regularly. I like to make Fridays a big deal. Not just because I won’t be working for a few days, but because I need to cherish the progress and to remind myself that things aren’t so bad. Maybe it was a stormy week that kicked me around a whole bunch. But I still gave life my best and I still handled every situation that was thrown at me with pride and honor. I will rise to the challenge of another week when it comes, but for now, I will choose to look back with my head held high. 

It kind of reminds me of Genesis 1. Every time God creates something, He recognizes its goodness. I can almost hear a sigh from the heavens, like an artist finishing a project, or a dad finishing a home-improvement project. With a wipe of His brow, I can hear God saying 

“Ahh, good stuff!”

This is swiftly followed by the thud, as He collapses into the couch for some good relaxation time. We need to appreciate the work we have done, and I feel like God has set that as an example for us. So let’s cherish the progress we have made! Forget the future, and all the places we still want to get to. Just take a moment to fix your gaze on where you have come from. Write down who, and where, you were on your last birthday. If you have the time, describe that day. Then, write down five things that have changed since then. Five ways that you have grown better as a person. Even if it’s as simple as “I learned how not to cook ramen.” That’s fine! Often, our mistakes are our greatest teachers! And the fact that you can recognize them as mistakes often shows a great sense of wisdom. 

So get to celebrating! Cherish your growth and never forget all your progress. It may not feel like enough sometimes, but it’s a great and wonderful thing that will serve as the building blocks of your confidence. In due time, you will grow and learn a few more things. And when that day comes, you will have good, firm blocks to build them on so that you can build not only your skillset, but enough confidence to use it well!

But if it’s really that difficult to embrace your growth and it feels like you have nothing to list, jot down one thing that you will work on. Though it might be tempting to listen to the voice of your Clyde that wants to beat you over the head with all your shortcomings, keep this list to just one thing. Don’t get bent out of shape trying to pick the perfect thing, just pick one and stick with it. Give yourself one week to focus on improving that one thing. Set a concrete goal of how you are going to work on it. Keep it short, sweet, and (most importantly,) manageable. If you are, for example, scared of ice cream, don’t make it your goal to put down an entire tub of mint chocolate chip. Resolve to drive by a Baskin-Robbins one day this week. Maybe if it goes well, drive by it multiple days. 

Then when your Clyde comes knocking, calling you a pathetic loser, you will have document proof that he’s an idiot that needs to shut his trap! You may not have everything in your life figured out, but you have at least gotten to your feet to fight back. And that’s an effort worth celebrating.

So I pray that God reminds you of all that you have to celebrate. I may not know you, but I know that odds are pretty good that you have more life than you think to cherish. And I pray that all that you have is revealed to you. Until Next Time

May Peace be your Guide.