#6 Dread

I think everyone has known dread at some point in their lives. In case you forgot already (or otherwise missed my introduction post,) dread is the feeling that something is looming in the air. It’s a general sense that you are being threatened, but you can’t quite put your finger on what is actually wrong. It isn’t nothing, per se, but it also isn’t a problem that’s right in front of you. I have a few thoughts around this feeling and what it might be. 

First of all, it isn’t fake. If you try to write it off as “all in your head,” you might be pushing something down that you shouldn’t. We are dealing with something that hasn’t been given a name yet. But I’m here to give it one. One thing that I have been seeing a lot lately is fear of what could be. I think dread is mostly this fear. We often say things like “expect the unexpected,” and “life is like a box of chocolates: you never know what you’re going to get,” and I think sometimes this idea can fill us with a certain uneasiness. We feel like the world is a big and threatening place, and that we don’t have the means to face every threat that comes our way. We feel like we should make ourselves as small as possible so that we can avoid the eyes of all the monsters that could gobble us up. 

And we often justify this belief by darting straight to the extreme cases. We think about how we couldn’t afford a major surgery, or how we couldn’t replace our car if it got totaled. And while these things are true, they are only a fraction of the real issue. I’m not denying that the world is full of giants. There are definitely threats that hide in dark places, and we’d be crazy not to be afraid of them. I believe the difference is actually in how we view ourselves. 

You see, dread doesn’t necessarily poison us, filling our heads with new ideas we hadn’t imagined. No, he comes wielding not a needle to inject, but a magnet. He wants to take all the ideas that have been festering in our heads, and bring them to the front to destroy you. I actually think that those potential threats have very little to do with the actual problem, here. The problem is just another way of realizing that you don’t believe in yourself. Because although it may be the case that you couldn’t replace your car, would you be as afraid if you had something stashed away to at least make a down payment? Would we feel the same way if we had just a sliver of hope, letting us choose between dying on our feet than living on our knees? I’m inclined to think so. 

And the reason I say this is because I have experienced it. There have been times where I have driven myself to that place of vicious panic, and what rescued me was that first drop of hope. Even the tiniest amount, a bread-crumb of hope is enough to change me from a statue, frozen in terror, to a courageous warrior, roaring like a lion. I believe that many of us are afraid of becoming powerless. We fear the foot that might plant itself firmly on our throats. We can come to terms with the idea of not being completely in control of everything, but to be in control of nothing? That’s too scary a thought! And rightfully so, because to give up control means you would have no say if real harm came your way. And no one wants the bad things to happen to them, right?

I think we all wrestle with this on some level. Perhaps some more than others, but we all want to maintain a level of control over our lives. We want to be able to protect ourselves, to have a shield at the ready in case we need it. The trick is to bring this idea back into balance, where we accept that we can’t control everything. And even if we could, I suspect that people wouldn’t like us very much. I have found that a control freak can be a bit annoying to be around. 

So take some time to reflect on this idea. Did this resonate with you? Do you disagree with me entirely? Maybe you have a completely different set of things that drive you to a sense of dread? Go figure yourself out and let me know what you discover. And if you do find yourself afraid of all that might be, take a second to give yourself that nugget of hope. Give yourself a fighting chance against all of your problems so that you can live a life of peace. Not because you know you can handle everything that comes your way, but because you don’t have to just sit there and take it. You’re a force of nature, and it’s high time you unleash the storm!

Until next time

May Peace be your guide.