#3 Fear imprisoned

And thus, we have established our understanding of fear and have started to look at some ways to overcome it. But the question still remains: since we aren’t trying to eradicate fear, what does our ideal life look like? What should we be striving for and how does that flesh out in our everyday lives? In short, what does it really look like to have fear as our captive and not the other way around? 

I have a saying I like to use when I am trying to figure out how to handle a situation. I will often find myself saying “I can feel however I want, but my feet are going that way.” This is roughly how I think we should strive to handle our fear. Imagine fear as our pesky prisoner, being transported to a more secure prison. Imagine you got the request to transfer him to a more secure location. The message is addressed with urgency, so transportation must take place by night. Naturally, the prisoner raises concerns, and spends the entire journey trying to redirect the convoy. 

“We shouldn’t be on the main path, it’s where robbers would expect to find travelers like us!” 

“No, we shouldn’t go left, there’s a shortcut off to the right!” “Oh, for heaven’s sake! You couldn’t just go without torches? We may as well be carrying a sign that says ‘rob me!’” 

On and on he goes all night long. But for each passing comment, a guard reaches into his cage to deliver a swift jab to the ribs, ordering the prisoner be silent. None of his requests are taken seriously, and the group continues along the path set out for them. After a while, the prisoner runs out of breath, and gives up on altering the course of the party. That is, until he spots something on the path about which he simply can’t keep silent. 

“STOP! STOP! That’s the wizard’s tower up ahead!” He shouts, jumping and dancing, screaming and shouting as though the floor below suddenly became a scorching volcano. 

Now, there is but one wizard in all the land, and he is known for his unusual cruelty. On a good day, you would be disintegrated on the spot. On a day less fortunate, he would capture those passing by and torment them day and night. Needless to say, things were not likely to end well if they were spotted by the mighty wizard. The captain of the guards takes note of the prisoner’s claim and sends one of his men out to see if the prisoner is telling the truth. It turns out he actually is. The captain then pulls out his map, draws a new route around the tower, and they make it into the city safely. 

The story demonstrates how we should handle our fear. But you might be thinking “well, that’s all fine and dandy, but what does that look like in real life?” Great question! I want to break it down into some action steps. 

1 Get to know your fear. This goes beyond the heat of the moment. Take time before and after to get to know what you are afraid of. Pick the most vivid memory of when fear showed up and study it. Jot down every last detail and keep asking yourself “why.” “Why was I scared of elephants at the zoo? They were secured behind the bars of those cages, right?” 

“I was scared of the elephants because they were bigger than me. But why should something bigger than me scare me?”

“I am scared of things that are bigger than me because I’m not in control of them. If they want to hurt me, I wouldn’t be able to stop them.” 

That’s an example of personal digging. Sometimes it might be a simple phobia. Other times you can dig up patterns that start cropping up everywhere. It doesn’t hurt to lend an ear to those warning lights either way.

2. Decide your course of action. Does your fear, perhaps, have something valuable to say? Do you, like me, need to be reminded not to put your phone in that belly pocket? Does the sky look just bad enough to cancel the soccer game before it rains? Decide if that fear is legitimate enough to affect your decision.

3. Give your fears a quick jab. Even if it has a point, no one wants to hear all that yapping all night long. Work on some fear management techniques. Though I am partial to writing things down, there are also other things like breathing techniques, touching your fingers, and even going for a quick walk, to help you overcome your fear. Remind yourself that you are in control, you have made your decision, and then pray for the rest to go well. 

Fear is, in fact, designed to help us, but it can be a little bit of a nuisance at times. I pray this has helped you learn a little more about fear and how to control it. I want to zoom in on some of these ideas in separate topics, so if this feels a bit vague, don’t worry, I’m just getting started! But, as always, if you have questions, feel free to reach out to me either in the comments below or however else you prefer. I pray you have grown from post and that you learn to gain further control over your fear

Until next time

May Peace be your guide.