#12 Feeling Big, Feeling Little

If there’s anything that I want you to take away from this series, it’s that you don’t need to feel little. You may be little sometimes, but your heart should never feel crippled, caged, or crushed. 

You should never feel like the sky is falling, or that the world out there is going to crush you. If you are in that place, you need to work to get yourself out. 

But if you are there, feeling like you’re drowning in your own smallness, know that there is a way out. There is a chance for redemption. But it isn’t through doing great and big things. Those things are like putting on pants that don’t fit.

Yet

The start of the journey to doing great things is on the inside. You need to nurture the confidence that you can make it. That when your chance to prove yourself arrives, that you have what it takes to grab it by the neck and never let go until the world sees what you are truly made of. That’s where redemption starts. That’s where your journey must begin. 

And if you’re struggling to believe that you’ll make it, remember to clear the rubble. Start detaching from all those voices that are telling you that you aren’t going to make it. That you can’t make it. It’s hard. Believe me, I know. I’m going through it right now. It’s definitely a struggle. But just because it’s a struggle, doesn’t mean that you aren’t on the right path, or that you are doing something wrong. It just means that you are pushing against something natural, something normal deep inside of you. It means you are on the brink of radical change. 

That has been my big takeaway: forget what people think. I know I have heard that a lot over the years. It has become another of those obnoxious cliches that doesn’t make any real sense anymore if I’m being honest. But here’s how I understand it: other people are separate from the standard. They get mad because you inconvenienced them, not because you are any more imperfect than anyone else. 

I have had to remind myself of that throughout the day as my fear rises. I’ll get anxious about someone being annoyed with me and I will tell myself “it’s just people.” That seems to have calmed my nerves for the most part. I used to think when people were annoyed, it was because there was some trait that I lacked. Some muscle that wasn’t strong enough, or some skill that needed improving. Sometimes the other person is bad at communicating and wants to make it your problem. Sometimes they simply lack the patience for where you are at in life. Other times, they are simply having a bad day. 

But that’s not to say that you will never be at fault. But when in life are we ever not? We are all incapable of being perfect, so why should we be made to feel like that’s a big problem? It’s a hard thing to wrestle with, because we have to stand up for our right to not be treated like dirt, even when we fumble around like monkeys. Sure, we’re annoying. Sometimes it almost feels fair that people are getting upset at us. But we can’t sit around and feel like everything is our fault. 

So when someone gets angry with you, or you get nervous that they will, remind yourself that it’s only people. The only thing you are truly at fault of is bothering other people. And you will do that anyway, so you may as well embrace it and run with it.

As always, thank you for tuning in to my ramblings. We are going to continue with this idea of feeling small in my next series. I can hear church bells ringing off in the distance…

Until next time

May Peace be your Guide.