#7 Fortress or tent?

Lately I have been asking myself: what is an ordinary life? Were my childhood dreams more like myths, or is there something there to strive for? Is the life I am reaching for the “easy way out,” or is there something of substance here? I was talking with someone about this just yesterday, and we came to an analogy: are you building a fortress or a tent? You can put up a tent in minutes, but it won’t necessarily protect you from invaders. It won’t hold firm when the winds blow, and it probably won’t keep you warm when it gets cold. A tent will do you a lot of good in the short-term, but to truly build an ordinary life, you need a fortress. 

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not shunning temporary solutions. I have had plenty of times where I need to fix a problem, and I need to fix it fast! Sometimes you need an immediate patch-up. But when you rely solely on patches, it’s not the way to go. We use band-aids as a temporary fix so that our body has the means to heal itself. We use the spare tire in our cars to be able to drive down the road to get a new one. A quick-fix will solve an emergency, but it won’t build a kingdom. 

To build a kingdom, you have to think long-term. Are you building something that will stand firm? Where will this path put you further down the road? These are the questions of a fortress-builder. And here’s a thought that sets my mind at ease: a fortress takes time to build. You might not see immediate payoff, but if you write the blueprints and set the plan, the price you pay to build it will last you well beyond the years of the cost. The building process might get messy, it might seem like things are getting worse, rather than better sometimes. But at the end of it all, you will have something of value, something that will carry you to the end of your days. Ultimately, you will have a fortress of your own, and it will be able to withstand far greater a beating than the tent you were building before. 

Poetics aside, what does this look like and how do we achieve it? An ordinary life isn’t necessarily an irresponsible one. What it means is that your dreams are big, sturdy. You are thinking about the long-term effect of the choices you make now. It’s looking for a good long-term partner, rather than dating the first person to give you attention. It’s going to school and setting yourself on a long-term career path, even if that means a lower-paying job right now. It’s investing a little each month, rather than spending it all on things you don’t need. It’s setting yourself up for long-term success, even at the cost of short-term fun. 

But I’m not actually saying it should be all suffering right now. If life feels like a bed of nails, there might be a problem. It takes some time to explore and truly understand where you want to be in the long run. You’ll know when you’ve found the fortress you want to build when you find yourself churning inside. Instead of shying away from the challenge, something will bite back. You will find yourself asking how you can do this, instead of if you can do this. Even if you believe that you can’t, something in you will push to try it anyway. You’ll find yourself gearing up to start, rather than pushing yourself to get going. 

But that’s not to say it won’t be daunting. Oh no no no, the task will be more daunting than anything ever! Because unlike every other time in your life, you can’t run away. You can’t just shirk this off and accept that you can’t hack it. You must hack it! You want to hack it. This is your elephant, and you must eat it, one bite at a time! 

So the last question is: how do you get there? How do you find your fight? Oof, what a tough question! Though everyone has their own story of how they came to know where they wanted to be, I think they all have one thing in common: beauty. There’s always an appeal to a sense of the life they think is beautiful. Some find a life of power to be worth having. Others want to help others regardless of the paycheck. Some think the beauties of singleness are worth cherishing, and others are inspired by family life. Whatever the case may be for you, the first step is to open yourself up to inspiration and to beauty. When you are able to taste the beauty of life, you will be able to find your place in the world. 

But there’s a difference between how things are painted as, and what they really are. No matter how beautifully a forest is painted, I still won’t be a fan of camping. That’s why you need to explore things for yourself. Get inspired to try something, then see if it lived up to the hype for you. Although everything will come with its ups and downs, you will eventually find something worth sticking it out for. In due time, you will find your home turf, and you will feel inspired to go to war for it. This all may not happen overnight, so take a deep breath and go exploring. Eventually it will come to you. It may not feel like it will, but that feeling is wrong. Everyone has some sort of place in the world, it’s up to us to go and find it. 

I know it’s easy to feel lost, so I pray that God gives you a step in the right direction. I pray that you find your way and that you are met by the light of purpose. 

Until next time

May Peace be your guide.