#3 Get Rhythmic!

I had a tense day today. Some stuff happened that made me really mad, and I really wanted to let it out. I had been toying with different ways to vent anyway, so I was basically being given some time to workshop my ideas. I had been wanting to try something different to get those icky  feelings out. I realized this moment would be a great time to start trying my ideas out, making sure the advice I have been planning to give you actually works. 

So there I was, driving home, mad as all get out, and I reached into my grab-bag of topics that I had been planning to write about, and I remembered this one: get into rhythm. I turned up the radio, and put some conscious effort into following along to the song that was playing. I started tapping the steering wheel and quietly singing along (and royally botching some of the parts I didn’t know as well.) It took some work for sure, but eventually I got with it and my mood started settling down. I won’t say it was perfect, but it was a very noticeable improvement over where I was when I started. 

Angry moments are tough, I won’t lie. Every fiber of your being wants to throw hands, scream, or get some sort of revenge. It’s natural, and I get it. But those feelings aren’t ones to act on. Even when a confrontation needs to happen, it’s never right to act on that anger. But we don’t always know how to cool it off. We never make the conscious effort to learn how to resolve our anger. Instead, we usually just tell ourselves to ride it out. We tell ourselves that it will eventually pass and we just need to keep from exploding until then.

But what if we started working on some conscious ways to cool off? What if we worked on a tangible thing that we can do to start to subside our anger? I don’t know if we can ever fully reset in a matter of hours, but we can certainly make some progress, right? Why don’t we try it? Pick a song and commit it to memory. Play it once or twice a day, and put a little effort into learning it. I find rap works really well for this, as it takes a little focus to remember. Whatever it is that tickles your fancy, just pick one song and stick with it. Then, when you feel the heat of the moment rising, take a few minutes to walk away and play it back to yourself in your head. Do it a few times and see what happens. 

But let’s suppose this isn’t working for you. No song really clicks, or you just don’t have the time to dedicate to this. That’s ok! There’s rhythm in everything! Start a beat by tapping your finger, use the sound of your footsteps as you walk down the street, or anything else you can come up with! For a while, I wore an old-school watch that ticked as loud as a crackling bonfire! (I used to have to put my arm down at the movies. I could even hear it over the loud action scenes!) I would use that watch as a sort of metronome to start a beat from. Rhythm is in everything, and you just need to tune into it. 

But don’t feel intimidated by the idea. You don’t have to be a master musician to make this work. You just need a little something to shift your focus onto. The more time passes, the more I realize that I can change how I am feeling by changing how I am acting. It takes a second, so don’t expect to bippity-boppity-boo yourself into good feelings. It may take a few hours to cool down, but I have never truly been a fan of simply venting. I feel like venting causes more problems than it solves. 

The problem I take with focusing on those bad feelings is that it never reverses the momentum. When you vent, you feel better by focusing on the problem. I used to dwell on my problems, to the point where the cycle almost became an addiction. I would sit there and focus on the crappy feeling until eventually it would burst out of me in one way or another. It felt good, but I would always need another fix. Eventually, I was making up problems and telling myself that my life was awful because I couldn’t find any other way to function. I still understand the need for catharsis, but I believe we shouldn’t focus on the problem longer than we have to. 

So go hunting for your anthem, pick a song that you could really see yourself memorizing (if you don’t have one already.) Unleash your inner musician and set to learning a new trick! (and if you’re already an established musician, who knows-maybe this will help you see music differently.) I pray this post finds you well, and that this trick works to alleviate your bad moods and darker struggles. I pray for you always, so let me know if this has worked for you.

Until next time

May Peace be your guide.