#8 Good without Burnout

Lately I have been contemplating how burnout works out in the whole “good versus nice” conversation. Here’s an example I reflect on a lot. I work as an IT technician, so my whole job is to help people. But the thing is: we have a process. A user has to put in a request for help with a specific issue they are having.Then, we technicians get these help requests and do everything that we are allowed to do to get the problem fixed. Once the problem that they put in the request for is resolved, we close the ticket. Then we rinse and repeat this process with the next customer. 

The problem is, we get two things that happen a lot. One, once a user has us on the phone, they try to make the most of our time. “Well, while I have you here, can you help me with…” Oh, how often I hear those words! But the thing is, we have every right in our contract to tell them that they need to open a new request for any further issues. Similarly, people often believe that because they have a technician’s contact information, they can call us up for every issue they have from that point forward. I have gotten calls months later from people who, for a variety of reasons, think they can go directly to me for all of their problems (and some of their excuses are funny, ranging from “I didn’t like the other guy I talked to.” to “I didn’t want to go through the process of opening a request.” That part never ceases to amuse me.)

The thing that trips me up most of the time is the fact that I actually could justify going either way most of the time. On the one hand, the process for getting problems resolved is to put in a request and have someone take care of it from there. On the other hand, I have the power to put in that request myself and claim the work for my own personal work load. No matter which way I look at it, it always seems to me that I can go whichever way I want. I could choose to be helpful or I could choose not to be. The choice is entirely up to me. 

I’ll admit, I have had more than a few days where I think to myself “man, I’m just too tired for this crap!” Whether it’s a customer I don’t really like or an issue that seems a bit daunting, some days I just don’t want to deal with it. I often feel like I am hiding behind procedures in order to keep what I ought to do. But lately I have been pushing back on that idea. Even if I were to admit that all those nasty things I said about myself were true: if I actually were lazy, fearful and irresponsible; it would still be the case that my job is NOT to be a slave! I’m not here for you to walk all over and fulfill your every desire. “We’re technicians, not magicians” my coworker has said. I think he’s right about that, but it has gotten me thinking: how do we justify it? How do we keep from burning ourselves at both ends without torching our consciences in the process?

I think the underlying assumption is that we can help everyone for everything. If your friend was overseas, and missed their flight home, you couldn’t simply get in your car and pick them up. Unless you had a futuristic sci-fi car that can travel across water, driving them home would be out of the question. No matter how badly they pleaded, whined or begged, your only answer would be a firm “no.” You could try to help in other ways but you would be unable to meet their demands. 

Why, then, do we act like burning out is a viable option? Well, I think it’s because the effects aren’t immediate, and we believe if we simply push a little harder, we can completely override the effects of working too hard. That, ladies and gentlemen, is a bold-faced lie. Sure, you might be able to push down your irritability for the moment, but it will be back. And even if it doesn’t come back in that form, the effects will still come back in some other way. You might push away the irritability only to find your sleep quality worsens. So you drink more coffee, only to find out you need more, and more, and more. You’ll keep pushing yourself until one day you’ll crash and burn. And that’s a point you don’t want to reach, because it’s usually an ugly mess. 

When I used to work in trades, I worked alongside a lot of “macho men.”. Every day they would push themselves to their limits and clock out dog-tired, only to do it all over again the next day. When I would step up into their roles, I held back a little. They all poked fun and said I was being a little weenie, but I always smiled and laughed because I knew they were going to crash and burn. Sure enough, each and every one of them had their “snapping” moment. Most of them quit on the spot with a major outburst. None of these moments were pretty. All of them could have been prevented if they just paced themselves. 

As I have gone a little further in life, I have come to understand both sides. Especially in the case of your job, there are consequences to saying “no” to pushing yourself to work your hardest every day. It might upset your boss. They might try to deny you a promotion because someone else worked harder. But finding yourself a nice, comfortable pace will ensure that you have a firm footing, regardless of what anyone else says. You can laugh your way through life as all of those who were doing “better” than you quit early because they have no more gas in the tank. Just like the tortoise, you can win the race because you kept a manageable pace the whole race.

Overall, burnout is inevitable if you push yourself. You might think you can run from it, but you’re kidding yourself in the long run. Take time to acknowledge it and put together a game plan to set yourself on a better course. Write a list of things that you do daily that aren’t completely necessary. Brainstorm some ideas to get them done with less energy. Maybe you can ask for the rest of the family to share the responsibility of taking out the trash. Maybe you can cook in bulk so you don’t have to do it every single night. Whatever your situation may be, make it easier on yourself. I’m not telling you to be an absolute bum, and toss out all your responsibilities, but don’t be so hard on yourself all of the time. Get a second opinion on whether or not you are working too hard. An honest friend can always help you set yourself straight. 

But also, consider this: when we keep pushing ourselves, we act like we haven’t done anything already. Underneath, our mindset almost seems to say “if I don’t cater to someone’s every whim, I have done nothing to help at all!” Now, when I say it like that, does that really sound true? Of course not! Unless you haven’t lifted a finger to help anyone all day, you take that one and stick it down the drain! Take a minute to remind yourself (and others) of all that you have done for them. Just like they are trying to remind you of all that still needs to be done, push back by reminding them of all that already has been done. Don’t gloat or brag, but if it starts to sound like they’re making you out to be worthless, lazy, or unhelpful, remind them that they are sorely mistaken. 

It might be time to work on how you will say “no” to people. Rehearse lines like “I am busy helping someone else right now. Can you take care of that?” In some scenarios, a simple “I can’t” will do, but if you feel the need to have something prepared, give a brief, but honest, reason. Prepare for a bit of backlash, as most people don’t like it when you suddenly stop letting them walk on you. It means they will have to start carrying a little more of their own weight, and they may not like that. Hopefully you have understanding people that accept you enough, but don’t count on it. I believe in you. You’ve got what it takes to truly become a good person. 

Until next time

May Peace be your guide.