#11 It's Personal

As I have observed those truly that we consider to be good, I have noticed something: very few, if any, simply roll the dice to decide on a cause to support. Rarely is it out of thin air or by random chance, that a person sticks to a cause. Have you ever heard stories of people saying “alright, I want to find a good cause. I’m going to roll this die. If it lands on six, I will dedicate my life to helping the homeless. If it’s a five, I will help our veterans. If it’s four, I will mentor the fatherless.” Dang, if you have ever heard of a story like that, please message me. I want to meet them!

The rest of us have a more personal story. We want to go to another country because we love the God that sent us. We feel bad for the homeless because we were once in their shoes. Read the stories of those who are driven to be a force for good in the world, and you will find that they all have a similar story: they have a love of something and it drives them to do good for the world. Is that selfish? Hmm, it doesn’t seem like there’s an answer that works perfectly, right? Let’s unpack this dilemma. 

So, I think the reason this question feels like running into a brick wall is because there are two branches that stem from the same trunk. Think of your own impulses: your wants, your needs, and every driving force you have ever felt, as a sort of tool. Perhaps, imagine them like a knife. A knife could be used in anger to hurt someone. If given to the wrong person, it could do some serious harm. Anyone worth their salt will tell their child to be careful when holding the kitchen blade. We all know if it isn’t handled with care, it could hurt someone. 

But if something could do serious damage, why is it still there? Why don’t we at least lock them up in a safe behind a passcode and maybe even a key? Because they’re helpful in our everyday lives. I believe that personal drive should be treated the same way: it can be used for good or evil. But the question, then, becomes: how do we learn to differentiate between the two? 

Thus, if selfishness and personal drive stem from the same source, it would seem as though being a good person means taking the risk of allowing personal drive to play a role. In other words, if we want to be good, our cause has to be personal, and being personal means we have to tap into a reason we, personally, feel pushed to change the world. This comes with a level of trust that can be scary to have. It means we have to trust ourselves to believe that we have some good in us. It’s not selfishness that drives us, but the cause is most certainly personal.

But that leads us to a very interesting question: where do we draw the line between selfishness and personal-ness? Hmm, what an excellent question indeed! Personal-ness becomes selfishness when we care exclusively about ourselves at the cost of others. Selling out a friend for a bigger paycheck shows a lack of concern for his well being. Refusing to help your sibling whose car just broke down because the game is on shows that the game is more important than it should be. All these are a matter of priority and where it ought to be, compared to where it is. 

The tricky part is this: how do we hold ourselves accountable to a standard? Is there a source that we can use to help write our ought’s? Did you seriously expect me to create an entire system of morality on a Friday afternoon? Well, far be it from me not to have answers! After all, that’s what we do here in the keep! I believe we were all given a conscience. It may be flawed, we might go numb to it at times, but God gave each of us all the means to point back to right and away from wrong. Romans 2:15 says that God has written the law on our hearts. I think that’s what this verse is referring to. It may take time to unthaw it, and to tune in to it’s frequency, but everyone can do it! I also believe that this is part of the rebirthing process of Christianity: God gives us a new heart. Ezekiel 36:26 says that God will give us a heart of flesh, to replace our heart of stone. Flesh is squishy. You can feel pain in flesh, but stone is as callous as it gets. If we were to have a flesh-heart, it would probably be more receptive to something like pain, right? Perhaps, the pain of a conscience telling us we just made an oopsie? Trusting something personal, like our heart and conscience, can seem scary to many of us. After all, wasn’t it those same faculties that have nearly destroyed us so many times?

Ultimately, it takes courage to be good. It takes trust in a heart that could have just as easily taken us down. But that’s why I’m grateful for God, who made it possible to reach into our lives and do good through us. Heck, if it weren’t for Him, I would probably end this chapter with “and that’s why I’ll never try to be good again.” I wouldn’t venture forth, I wouldn’t even try! If there’s one thing I’m not, it’s optimistic. It has always seemed wiser to me to stay where it’s safe and commit to what is more likely to happen (or, at least, what will cause me the least pain.) But that’s not living, and God didn’t give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of courage! So we must venture forth to try, and try again, knowing that God has already forgiven us for every blunder we will ever make. This is not to say we should go out there and make a mess. Getting it wrong is still getting it wrong, and it’s still an unpleasant, destructive experience. But we have a divine soap that can shower off anything and everything that could possibly dirty us up. God doesn’t expect us to be perfect on our own. Perfecting us is His project. All He asks of us is to follow where he leads us to go. And He has already provided everything we need for the journey. 

I pray this brings you one step closer to wholeness. For today’s action step, I want to begin bringing you to a place of trust in God and ourselves. Take some time to list three times you were good to someone. Bonus points if it’s because you wanted to be. After this, go about your everyday life and keep your eyes peeled for bad things that bother you. Maybe people have been calling your classmate names and you wish it would stop. Maybe  your friend doesn’t have a good diet and needs to eat better. Whatever it is, take note of it. Write it down. Write them all down. This will start to tune you in to your conscience. Eventually, you will nurture your values and cultivate a life’s purpose around the themes you see. This will take time, so be patient. Give it time and don’t give up. I believe in you. You are going to be a world-changer!

Until next time

May Peace be your guide.