#14 Run the Risk

After we jump the hurdle of making our goodness personal, the other main concern we run into is the fear of failure. It’s easy to say “if I just did less, I can be more effective because I will make less mistakes. I need to assess what’s actually doable.” I’m here to point out the pro’s and con’s of thinking like this. I can’t say I’m fully against a little planning, but we need to learn how to counteract our own biases. We need to learn the difference between being cautious and being shut-ins. 

For the record, I’m not much of a go-getter to begin with. I’m more of a stay-cation, stay-in-your-lane type of guy. If it involves staying out of harm’s way, I’m all for it! But lately, I have started learning about the downsides of this mentality. Sure, your sanity, but too much of a good thing becomes a bad thing. The problem is, usually we are so focused on the reckless mongrels out there making a mess we’d rather avoid, that we don’t notice the subtle decay that falls upon those who never take risks. The dangers of playing it safe are a slow, unspoken rot compared to those that crash and burn. But both crumble like cookies either way, so we must learn to walk the balance.  

I’m convinced that too much on either side will get you in trouble. There’s still room for preference, but if you don’t have at least a little bit of both, your life will have issues. In terms of being good, I can completely understand the need for a little safety. I grew up with a gung-ho family whose motto was “you can’t know until you try, so get out there and go for it!” Now, I’m not here to say that this mentality is wrong. Heaven knows that most people need a little push, but what I have come to find is that committing to simply finding out leads to a lot of pain. After a while, you run out of steam and can’t take the beatings anymore. 

If I’m being honest, sometimes I simply don’t know for sure what will happen, and just don’t want to find out. In those moments, I tend to act like I’m being wiser by holding back, rather than going out on a limb to see what might be. I have had to start being really honest with myself about my odds of something coming to pass. Many times, the risk is far higher than I had originally thought. Other times I do, in fact, have to take the leap of faith and just go for it. 

But all too often, our “assessments” of how well things will go are simply us masking our fear. We think we are really assessing the odds when we are actually just scared. I have started to hold myself accountable to this fear. I will ask myself “OK, but how good are my odds really? Are they really that bad, or am I just scared?” This is a great question to ask yourself, so long as you are able to answer it truthfully. But more importantly, it will actually help you assess your odds even better. Anyone who wants to think clearly knows they should be free of biases, right? And isn’t that exactly what fear is? Isn’t it just a bias? It’s tough to do, but we have to hold ourselves accountable to the decision we ought to make, rather than the one we want to make. 

But often we assume that when we “just go for it,” we need to be bold, pushy, and almost annoying. We think we need to put on our obnoxious hat and big flashy shoes, and see that the task gets done. What if I told you that you could simply start by asking the question? What if, when you didn’t know if your boss would give you the raise, you simply asked if it was a possibility? Do we always need to fire off like a loaded gun? What if we tentatively moved forward, in hopes of asking questions? Is that such a bad idea? Could this be our in-between, our way of meeting in the middle to move forward without being overly brash and brazen? I’m inclined to think so. 

It’s easy to shrink back in the name of making fewer mistakes. We think we are doing the world a favor by treading carefully. Although I am a fan of insightful action, the fact does remain that mistakes aren’t actually the end of the world. You just have to consider the scope of the damage. If your friend is out of work and needs a job, it won’t hurt for you to send him a picture of that “help wanted” sign you saw at wal-mart. On the other hand, if your mother was having intense back pain, you wouldn’t want to go walking on her back, no matter how many times it has worked for you. The point is to look risk in the eye, and fearlessly assess whether or not you want to approach the scope of the risk. It’s all about looking at your situation without being afraid. (And if you are struggling with overcoming fear, you should stick around, my next series will be all about overcoming fear. Be on the lookout for that!)

Overall, we need to look at the risk and assess whether or not we want to take it. When we are afraid of risk, we treat it like an all-or-nothing game: either we take on all risks, or we cower back in the corner. There usually isn’t much in-between in this mentality. If we learned to look at risk properly, we could learn to become balanced people. We could do more good for others, avoiding the big mistakes that really matter. I pray this post has helped you think about your relationship to risk. It may be scary, it may not be what you’d like, but you can take risks and it can yield fruit. 

Until next time

May Peace be your guide.