Slow Down

Usually the things I share are sights from my rearview mirror. They say hindsight is always 20/20, so it’s the easiest thing to share with others. But today I want to share something that’s closer to the present. Like many, I can be quite the busy-body. I’m always in a rush to get the next thing done. I am always looking to accomplish more and be even busier. I’m always hungry for something more. And although there is a time to be busy, I often overestimate what can be done in a day. I have been needing to remind myself constantly to expect less from daily life. Not every moment is going to be a big deal, and it often brings me down because every moment that doesn’t contain the next win is a moment I treat as a loss. It’s important to slow down and remind myself of my victories so that I don’t get overwhelmed by my defeats.

But how do I do this? How do I come down off the mountaintop to a calm, peaceful everyday life? People used to tell me to “chill out and slow down.” This didn’t make much sense to me. I could understand slowing down by setting a metronome up in my head and cutting the tempo in half, but this brought me nothing but pain. I still struggle to put it into concrete terms. I don’t think people get that what they see as fast, I simply see as normal. I can sort of understand the stress I am putting my body through when I try to do a lot, but I think what a lot of people were trying to say was “be like me, because anything else is annoying. Don’t understand how? I don’t know, just go over there and leave me alone.” 

I have, however, found two major things that have been helping me slow down. The first is to limit how often I check my phone. The conversations can wait, and half my contacts don’t reply for at least 20-30 minutes anyway, so I can afford to at least hold off on checking it every ten seconds. I am trying to follow a rule in which I only check my phone at the top of every hour. Phones have been designed to be addicting and although I love technology as a technician, it can often be a leech looking to suck me dry with no remorse. 

This also has a way of altering my mindset. The more I check my phone, the more it reinforces the idea that I should live in a state of constant-euphoria. If the buzz doesn’t come from my phone, it should come from something else. When I finally put down the phone, I feel entitled to more coffee, sugar, or a snack to keep myself high. But the truth is that this pleasure-seeking mentality causes great pain. It’s important to seek out small doses of pain to stay balanced. With all this pain-talk, I must seem like a masochist. I’m actually not. Pain is still pain. It still tires me out and demands all of my energy, but the right pains can yield a reward. I respect discomfort because I’m aware of this truth. 

The other big thing I do to slow down is to manage my needs. I make sure to keep my list of needs small. Obviously, I need to go to work, to do what is expected of me, and so on. But when I clock out I try to limit myself to one thing I must accomplish (eating and sleeping don’t count. This is for things I would like to do to keep growing in my own life.) I like to think of these things like homework. Once they are crossed off of the list, I am officially free to relax and do whatever I want to do. These “needs” don’t necessarily have to be boring, either. Sometimes my one need is to write a post for you guys! 

There are two reasons I keep this list of needs. The first is to establish boundaries. In my head, this draws a big circle. That circle represents “go-time.” When I’m in the circle, I have something to do and a drive to do it. Without time in the circle, I finish the day feeling upset and empty. I need to get something done in my own life to be able to call it my own life at all!  But it also helps me to shut down properly. You see, once I get my one thing done, I can officially step out of the circle. I mentally clock out of the “job” of my life. Then I can go into kid-mode and truly relax and play. It’s almost as if something in my brain can recognize that I have earned my break. Do you remember what it was like, coming home on a night you didn’t have homework? It was quite the thrill, wasn’t it? That’s what it feels like: I don’t have that thing on my plate that I normally should have. It’s gone, went poof! But setting up the work-play contrast grounds me, helping me relax and unwind. My brain has clear-cut boxes for working and not working, so it’s easier to jump between them. 

The second reason is to have something I like to do for myself, to keep growing in my own life outside of work. If I were to get up, go to work, come home, eat, sleep and repeat, something would be missing from my life. Everyone needs personal goals and ambitions. Maybe you have a career that you are passionate about. That counts. But sometimes you have side projects you want to explore (for example, writing this blog is one of mine.) These side-projects help keep me balanced. When work is tough and unrewarding, having something else to keep life feeling fresh can be healthy. I can’t count how many times my sanity has been revived by the excitement of some post-work activity. It’s a great and refreshing feeling, especially when you don’t have the time or money to go on vacation. 

We all could do with a little slow-down from time to time. Life is often overflowing with opportunities, to the point where we need to learn to say no. Not every moment is meant to be filled with more activities. There comes a point when quantity hits a ceiling and your quality of life starts to sink. Don’t let yourself reach that point! Throw off anything that is weighing you down and sucking your energy up. Ask yourself “is this activity really necessary? Do I really need to be spending my energy on this? How much energy is this sucking from me anyway?” Save your energy for what matters! Don’t let it get swallowed up on a non-refundable purchase! Because then, when you need your sanity most, it will be gone. I pray you learn to grow, understanding how to better manage the resources you have been given.

Until next time

May Peace be your guide.