Stress

Stressors. We all have them. And sadly, we can’t always avoid them. But we can control them before they control us. I’m learning to get this right myself. At this very moment, I have things going on in my life that I am paying too much attention to. I keep checking my phone obsessively, waiting for updates that don’t matter. Why do I keep doing this to myself? I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I’m excited to check on my blog. Maybe I’m nervous about the stinking apartment situation. As the day goes on, the more the issues pile up. By the end of the day, it feels like I have been buried alive by all the things I should be worrying about. How many of you can relate? How many of you, like me, obsess over your phone, freak out about some new noise the car made, panic about having to go pay for more groceries and wind up smothered in things you have to deal with? I’m not foolish enough to believe I’m the only one. Today I’m reminded of the dangers of phone addiction. Even though it might seem fun, entertaining, or perhaps even necessary, the fact of the matter is that phones are dangerous. Obsessively checking your phone can up your stress levels and cause you to join me in the frantic rush of panic. 

I would like to invite you to join me as I cut back on my phone time. Start by asking yourself: do I need to check for this? Is there an emergency that I’m waiting to hear back about, that I truly need to respond to immediately? Maybe a few of you are in denial, but I’m willing to bet that most of you, if you’re being honest with yourselves, would say “no.” The few of you that do have actual emergencies can ask the person to call you, so you can keep the phone in your pocket until it rings. 

So we have no emergencies, no reason that tells us we need to check our phones. What’s next? Set a timer. Start with the top of every hour. Only when the minutes on the clock read “00,” are you allowed to check your phone. That way, you don’t completely separate yourself from the things you might need to be on top of, but you also don’t let them control you. Ask yourself again: do I really need to check on this now? What will change if they wait an hour or two? Will it really change that much? Most of the time, you will be fine. If you have to, take a quick walk. Stretch your legs a bit and remind yourself that everything is going to be alright. 

What I often like to do is walk myself through the worst-case scenario. I imagine it as if it’s going to happen, sometimes going as far as preparing for it to happen. When I do this, I’m either pleasantly surprised or prepared. Either way, I’m at peace. It doesn’t make the waiting any easier sometimes, but it has been my best bet against the worry. I’m a fighter, and typically I don’t find rest until the problem is solved. The problem is, life always has another fight coming, so I’m learning how to find rest before things get fixed. It’s not an easy thing, I’ll admit, but I’m getting there. 

But I want to take this a step deeper. The first thing that comes to mind is a quote by a rap-rocker who goes by the stage name “Manafest.” Growing up, Chris Greenwood actually wanted to be a famous skater. His original dream was to do skateboard tricks, have his own shoe line, and maybe even be in one of those Tony Hawk games. But during his teenage years, he suffered an injury that brought that dream to an end. It later became the reason he took up writing music. In a clip on his Youtube channel, he tells the story. His main takeaway was this: sometimes you feel like you’re being buried, when actually you’re being planted. When the stress is choking the life out of you and you feel like it’s all too much to handle, there may be something about to come of it. Maybe you’re being pushed in a new direction. Maybe a new type of inspiration is coming your way. I know some of my most defining moments have been my toughest ones. When the walls close in and the weight is too heavy, that extra oomph comes knocking at your door. And, let me tell you, the things that have picked me up when I was down are the things that now define who I am. Sometimes the dirt has to get moved around to plant the seed deep enough to grow. 

That leads to the main message I have been hearing as of late. Time and time again I have found myself overwhelmed by my problems. The sheer number of things that are bidding for my attention are driving me nuts! But it’s in those moments when the bids overwhelm me, like an auction house when something valuable is on the stand, that I hear the ever-so calm voice of the King calling me back. I’m reminded of Peter as he is beckoned out of the boat and into the crashing storm. Much like Peter's life, my life can be quite the storm. I’m filled with sympathy for him, because it’s all too easy to become distracted by the waves. When the waters crash and splash all around, and I feel I have to react to everything going on around me, I’m reminded of the one thing that truly matters. “Get this priority right first, and everything else will fall into place. Forget about the worries, about the strife. When the moment comes, I will give you the words to say and the things to do.” It’s all I hear the King say, and it’s all I need to hear. 

I’d be lying if I said this was easy. I’m a planner, so not having everything mapped out and certain all the time irks me. Any little detail that’s not nailed down, super glued in place, then stapled for good measure, is an irritation, a thorn in my side. To have the King say “just wing it!” is unpleasant, to say the least. But I’d rather follow Him than me, so I grit my teeth and sit down to try to learn a new skill. But, you know what? As I learn to do something new, I find a peace I hadn’t known. It’s not easy, it’s outright difficult sometimes, but it’s worth it. Like giving up soda or going to the gym, it’s a discipline. But it’s definitely a discipline that pays off. 

And another thing happens as I sit still: I discover all the things going on in my head that keep me from this stillness. All the fears, failures, worries and wounds, they all start cropping up as I try to sit still. It’s like I was running from them, and I’m finally taking off the running shoes to see what I was running from. It’s a difficult, yet healing process. Once again, not easy, but good. Rough, but redeeming. 

But stillness is different from laziness. Laziness is not doing anything, stillness is only doing what you need to. Think of it like budgeting. Stillness is budgeting for the things you need, laziness is stashing all your money away under your mattress. There is a time to act, and it’s not “all the time.” I have found that when I pray, God pulls me to rest and pushes me to act. He knows far better than I do when the time is right. Sometimes I still get it wrong and act out of my own impatience. But always in those moments I hear the sound of chuckling bellow from the inner halls of my mind. As He catches His breath from all the laughing, he whispers the words I knew were coming. “I told you so!” He barely gets the words out as the laughter returns with a vengeance. This time, we both begin to chuckle as I realize He was right. It’s a relieving laughter because we both know this is a blunder corrected, a wrong made right in forgiveness. I will do better next time as I continue to walk in step with the King of wisdom. He lovingly corrects me and sets me on the right path and, by His grace, I live to fight another day. 

I believe we can all live to fight another day. I pray you will join me in relieving stress and learning to control the worry. I pray that we can better ourselves by growing in our self-control, and give our brains the break they ever-so desperately need. I pray for you that you may be blessed this day by He who created you

In His great and powerful name

May Peace be your guide.