Stress: part 2

Sometimes stress has a way of creeping up on you. You don’t notice it because you’re too busy. Then suddenly one day it all hits you like a freight train. You thought you were doing alright, then suddenly POW! It all comes crashing down. You might spill your cup of coffee and feel like chucking the mug, the coffee pot, and maybe a few chairs, right out the window. What do you do in those moments? 

I can’t say I have this figured out yet. I had one of those moments for myself today. A few things had been eating at me for a while. Then one little straw broke the camel’s back and it all came crashing down. Downward down the rabbit hole I fell, desperately trying to get control of myself with no luck. I felt like the Hulk, with Bruce Banner trying to talk some sense into this beast from the backgrounds of my mind. But there was no stopping this monster. Thankfully, I am pretty disciplined anyway, so I managed to keep myself from doing anything too stupid (other than walking around all day with a stupid look on my face. Thank heavens I didn’t run into anyone I knew!) 

But what do you do with those moments? As I still feel the heat of the collapse, I can clearly toss this around to try to figure it out. First of all, listen to what comes out of your mouth when you reach these lows. I have found that I rarely make things up when my mood isn’t great. I find what comes to mind are the feelings that have been simmering in the back of my mind for a while. Old thoughts about family, work, and everything in between bubble up, up, and out of my mouth. My job is to capture those thoughts and do something about them. Of course, it’s best to wait until you cool off, but what comes out when you are squeezed is real, and it’s very truly you.

But then the question becomes: what do you do with the rest of that moment? The hardest part is simply the fact that it’s so hard to control. I’m a fairly reserved person and even I can’t always control the freight train when it starts rolling. There’s no perfect answer to this, but I think in some shape or form the answer is don’t. Find a safe space to let some of it out. I had to get in my car and shout out some of the negativity that crept up on me. Even then, I’m still in that headspace. 

I’m not going to lie: it’s tough when you’re ready to melt down and life isn’t giving you a space to do so. Sometimes you just have to make one. Sometimes you have to bite the bullet and take five minutes to go let it out somewhere. Maybe it means you’ll be late to the meeting. Maybe your kids have to be kept waiting. But which would you rather: them wait a few extra minutes, or a lifetime with the consequence of taking it out on the wrong person? I’m not saying you shouldn’t be vulnerable with people, but those raw cuts aren’t pretty, and sometimes the thing you need to say might come out in the wrong way if you said it too soon.

But it’s also a call to do better preventative maintenance. Looking back on today, I accidentally skipped lunch and went to the gym! No wonder I was cranky! Those little things may not feel like much at the time, but they will most certainly creep up on you. Regular exercise, eating enough, and sleeping well are things that will affect how well you maintain your moods. Especially with eating, I have met far too many people that are willing to skip meals, then complain about how terrible they feel. The same thing with hydration. It really makes a difference. 

Alright, it’s time to wrap this up with some action steps. Take a look at your diet: are you eating and hydrating enough? Are you getting 7-8 hours of sleep every night? Are you getting regular exercise? What changes need to be made to get those things to where they should be? Along with this, try to take notice of those bad thoughts and feelings lurking in the back of your mind. Try to catch them before you explode. Have you been putting off a tough conversation? Is there a change that needs to be made into your life? Try to muster up the courage to address things before things get out of hand. Ultimately, it will be better if you take care of things early so that they don’t get heated. It will be better for everyone involved.

Until next time

May Peace be your guide.