#10 The Other Side of Quitting

Man, I feel a little icky writing this one. I wish I could come to you with seasoned experience in the things I am about to talk about, but the truth is that this is one I struggle with. I often quit when I want to. If I don’t do that, I feel like life gives me the boot, and ends things early for me. Either way, I have very little experience with resisting the urge to quit. But I have just enough to tell you that your fortress is just on the other side of the urge to quit. And today, I want to examine how to get there. 

Like I said, I’m no expert on this, but I think I know just enough to give you something insightful. Building a fortress is tough, and eventually we will reach a point where we want to quit. You burn and ache until all that you can hear is the cry of your very bones, begging you to quit. But if you push just beyond this point, you will see that the permanence you were chasing is right there waiting for you. You have to execute that part of you that’s begging to quit, that’s telling you to flee. You have to put to death the quitter within. 

But how do you do that? As all of you know by now, I don’t give “grit your teeth and push through” advice. Motivation and stubbornness are great, but they’re not something I believe everyone should strive to have. But the one thing I will say is this: you need to commit to shutting up. When you lay out your plan and begin making your commitments, you need to reach a point where going back on them is no longer an option. Or, at least, you only designate certain time periods to evaluate things. Whether it’s your career field, your marriage, or any other big thing that you commit to, you can’t live in a state of second-guessing. 

And here’s the thing: some of your decisions might not lead to a perfect life. News flash: such a thing doesn’t exist! There will be struggles, downsides, aches and setbacks. The trick is to make sure you aren’t kidding yourself about how things will be. You need to know in advance that things will get tough, and that you are not going to use those things as a reason to question your purpose. You need to learn to simply not go there.

But most of this should be done in advance so that you are able to punch through the wall of quitting. I imagine it like my workouts on the treadmill. Man, those suckers get rough! I dread my treadmill workouts because they are some of the hardest ones I do all week. But you know what makes them so rough? The fact that I have someone else pushing me through. I use one of the presets on the machine as my workout. That means there’s no slowing down if I’m feeling tired, sore, or otherwise unable to keep going. I don’t maintain an active control during those workouts. 

We need to let go of our moment-to-moment control when we’re building our kingdom. Pushing out the need to check on ourselves all the time gives us the freedom to ignore the voice that tells us to quit. It gives us the means to eventually find our second wind and get back to our feet when the quitting urge fades. It’s like we’re telling the voice of weakness to be silent so that we can accomplish our goals. 

But what if that voice has something reasonable to say? What if there’s a valid point to be made and the situation needs to be reevaluated? To that, I say set up a future date to do so. Pick a time far enough away that the heat of the moment will fade and you can truly think clearly. And only entertain the idea of changing your mind if there is reason to believe there is risk in not changing immediately. For example, I wouldn’t hesitate to jump off the treadmill if I felt a strong pain in my leg (but my sides can keep on hurting. That’s alright with me.) 

Obviously, some moments demand action. You’ll know those when they arrive, because they usually come like a slap in the face. Don’t worry about those. Worry about the other 99% of the time, when you have an opportunity to truly choose. Set up your criteria ahead of time, and don’t quit unless those are met, or you are in danger if you don’t steer off course. Even then, do your best to get back on track, or to evaluate what you want to commit to next. Commit well when you do commit to something, and maybe don’t commit if you don’t truly mean it. Let your word mean something and strive never to break it. Only then will you succeed in breaking through your quitting point and building your fortress. 

I pray you have been encouraged through this post. I pray you find your strength, and the means to ignore your inner-quitter to build your kingdom and find permanence and peace.

Until next time

May Peace be your guide.