#5 The Results

I had a moment at work last week where I officially checked out. The amount that needed to get done was far beyond what I alone could handle, so I decided to let go of the thrill of accomplishment. It was at this moment that everything started getting easier. I started pumping out work with a productivity I hadn’t known for a long time. I started getting things done, free as a bird because it didn’t matter how much got done. I was living my life for the love of the game. And it got me thinking: is there a way I can harness this revelation? Can we learn to “check out” whenever we want? What does that look like? Today I want to unpack this idea and see where it leads us. 

First of all, when I say we should forget about the results, I don’t mean that we should do things sloppily, or in some way make things worse in the way that we try to get things done. We’re still trying to get things done, not dig our own graves. What I really mean is that we let go of the need to accomplish 100% of what is set before us in the smallest time frame. We let go of the need to complete projects by ourselves all the time. We release the need to see something completed and relinquish the idea that we are responsible for 100% of life’s outcomes. 

I understand that, especially in the workplace, this is not a particularly welcome idea. Everybody wants someone to blame when things don’t get done, and passing the responsibility off to someone else usually isn’t going to fly. Well, back up for a second. I’m not saying you should take none of the responsibility, I’m saying you shouldn’t take all of it. If your boss floods you with work, you can hold yourself responsible to do all that you can and not apologize for the rest. 

And as scary as this is to accept, we typically aren’t the only factor at play in any given situation. You might give a friend good advice, but still watch as he makes bad decisions because another friend told him not to trust you. You might do our best to care for your car, only to watch it get totaled long before it should have needed to be replaced. Don’t get me wrong: we are still responsible for the way we handle what life throws at us, but we lose so much energy if we beat ourselves up over what has already happened. Instead, we should focus on how we are going to handle what has already come our way. 

I’m reminded of The Lord of the Rings, when Gandalf and Frodo are sitting in the mines of Moria. For context, Frodo has been carrying the ring of power because he feels a duty to. He doesn’t want the power or the adventure at all. He confides in Gandalf, sharing how he wishes he could simply go home to the shire. “I wish none of this had ever come to pass!” He says, with a weary heart. But listen to Gandalf’s response, because it shapes Frodo’s journey for the rest of the series. He replies “So do all who see such times. But it is not for us to decide. Our decision is what we do with the time that is given to us.” We may or may not be able to control how life flows around us. We can’t control the raging seas or enemies. They will do whatever they will, but we can control how we react. Evil may take up arms to fight. We can’t control that. But will we go to war against it, or will we allow ourselves to be conquered? A raging storm might flood our home, right after the car gets totalled and your partner dumps you. That’s awful luck, but it’s not your fault. What is your fault is whether or not you kept a savings account and a good home insurance policy.

Ultimately, this will help you adapt as well. Beating yourself up over what has happened will tire you out, leaving you with less energy to deal with the actual problem. It doesn’t mean that it is any less of a tragedy, but not every tragedy is one that you can prevent. And ultimately, isn’t it a little arrogant to beat yourself up over what happens in life? Isn’t the idea that we should have prevented it predicated on the idea that we could have stopped it? I mean, come on! You think you can stop the rain? Who do you think you are, god? Cut yourself some slack, here! Don’t treat yourself like something you are very clearly not, and never will be! You are a human, humble servant to the wind and waves. Don’t get yourself tied up in knots because you can’t control everything. There’s only one that has such power, and it sure as heck isn’t you. 

I say that not to condemn you, but to remind you to go easy on yourself. Only take responsibility for the things you actually have control over. Hopefully you find those should-be’s a little silly now as well. Ultimately, I pray you learn to let go of the results, and the things you can’t control. I pray you find your strength multiplying and your problems dividing.

Until next time

May Peace be your Guide.