Worship bands

By the time I was in high school, I made a name for myself as a drummer. We drummers were in high demand, so once word got out that I could play, everyone and their mother came calling. And, by bands, I mean worship bands Sadly, I must take this moment to confess one of my deepest darkest secrets. I hope you can forgive me for this, but I don’t like worship music. To this day, I can’t seem to enjoy it very much. I played in band after band, learned song after song, but it was always a bit of a burden for me. I know this must ruin your entire view of me, but I hope you can learn to forgive me. It’s just who I am

One of the bands I played in most was the school’s chapel band. In case you weren’t familiar, some Christian schools will host a mini church service during the school week and call it “chapel.” I’ll be honest: it was not a fun time. I did my best to make the most of it, but I was bored to tears most weeks. For some reason, our worship leaders were against playing joyful music. I chimed in a few times and insisted that we play something a little more upbeat, but I was met with dirty looks, as if there was something wrong with making a joyful noise unto the Lord.

One of the worship leaders used to interrupt practice because something would sound “too good.” He claimed we had to stay humble, and good-sounding music would bring too much focus back to us and not onto Christ. But if all you associate with God is strictness and denied happiness, isn’t there something wrong with that? Doesn’t that sound a little odd to anyone else? For years I fought back in any way I could. People acted like I was a little crazy for believing something was wrong with the way things were. I stuck to my guns, but I had a hard time believing that I was onto something. Even years later as I write this, it puts me a little on edge, trying to argue against it. Guess it means there’s more healing to do. 

This sober-God sentiment was even stronger  at our youth group. As the years went by, our worship leaders grew more and more adamant about the need to be serious. God was a matter of quiet sobriety, rather than having fun singing and dancing. If this were a church service for all ages, this might make a little more sense, but this was a room full of teenagers. I can still see the halls of that youth group in the days before I decided to leave. The lights would dim, and everyone had to be quiet and sad.We had to quiet down and be still, like we didn’t already spend eight hours a day doing that already. I used to start applauses after every song as a way to liven things up. It used to annoy the heck out of some of the teachers. It was hilarious. 

I see something wrong with this sober-God mentality. Although there is a time to be still and a place to be silent, those times should be few and far between when it comes to teens. I’m not saying every week should be a party with pizza and loud, noisy music, but you have to remember: these kids have lots of energy. They are like soda cans that are shaken up. They have energy, and they need to have a positive outlet. They need a target for that energy. They need to be able to be reckless and wild in a safe and silly way. I remember I used to do silly things like wear shorts and sandals in the winter, and try to drink a half gallon of water every class period. Harmless fun like that helps keep you balanced and joyful. It helps keep the stress levels down and the joy levels up. We all need to make a few memories before we die. 

If it wasn’t clear yet, I don’t believe I worship a God who just wants us to be mellow all the time. Sure, there is a time and a place for that, but there is a time to rejoice and be happy as well. Heck, I believe there’s even a place for silliness in the Kingdom of Heaven! After all, was it not king david who danced unto the Lord in 2 Samuel 6:14? Was it not Jesus who named two of His disciples “Thunderheads?” And wasn’t one of the fruits of the spirit “JOY?”  I could be wrong, and a tad irreverent, but it feels to me like I might be onto something, here. 

But that touches on a deeper issue: I believe that many have learned to see God as ever-serious, and nothing else. The problem with a somber God is that it’s hard to give Him all of your life when there’s no fun involved. It becomes all too easy to put Him in the sunday-morning box, where we then get comfortable keeping Him. Then, when life gets rough, we shrink that box down because we don’t have the energy to play church. The Sunday sweaters get itchier, and it gets easier and easier to simply skip out because we aren’t being fed. How sad it is that we reach this point! I’m not saying this to condemn. I can’t do that, because that was me for many years. “Playing Christian” got too difficult, so I quit altogether. There was no joy in any of it, so I threw the baby out with the bathwater. 

And I know many of you want to snap back with something along the lines of “but Christianity isn’t about what you can get out of it, but what you can put into it. It’s about serving!” To that, I say “hush!”  Go out and try to live with an emotional leech on your leg. It’s difficult. The Christian life was not meant to be lived alone, but with God’s help. And it was certainly not meant to be a drag. Sure, it’s tough at times, but those tough times have their rewards at the end. For example, I know that God has made me for battle, so when God calls me into the ring, there’s a thrill to it! I’m doing the work of the King and that’s exciting! Even when I write, I can tell when I’m on the right track because I get so excited, I can barely get the words out fast enough! 

When I first came back to faith, this was something that seemed odd to me: the joy of the Lord? People getting excited about Christianity? I regret to say that this was an entirely new idea to me. Growing up, I knew a lot of hardship, and most of it because of the gospel. I won’t even say it was because there were things I didn’t understand. I believe a lot of it was bad practice. I fault my school and the traditional culture that is known to much of Europe. By the grace of God I have come back to faith, but the soil I was planted in did me no favors. That’s why when people tell me they went in a radically different direction after high school, I grieve for them, but I also can’t fault them. I get it. I wish it weren’t so, but I get it. 

Although there are some tough things to embrace with Christianity, it isn’t all beds of nails. We aren’t monks hiding away in temples, starving ourselves in the morning and flogging ourselves with chains all night. There’s a lot of joy and freedom to living in Christ, and I never understood this until last year. It’s almost like there was an entirely different world I had never known before! Even then, I have had long moments of denial, unable to believe that I could really take my shoes off around the King (I’d say I let my hair down, but you have to have hair for that!) It's sad to have to admit these things, but they’re true. I believe it’s a part of why I have seen so many walk away from their faith. 

Even writing these things makes me sad. I hate that the name of the King has been tainted by such corrupt soldiers. I wish people could see that these are not the teachings of the King. It’s still hard for me to admit that His own have let Him down yet again. I grieve for the price that is being paid for their mistakes, and I grieve for all the sheep gone astray. It burdens me deeply. That’s why I am trying to write this all down. First of all, you’re not alone. Many of us are the outcomes of those who got it wrong. But we aren’t victims, we don’t have to let these troubles define us. We can rise above our pasts, and come back to the cross. The King has the power to heal and nothing is too big for Him. All you have to do is come home. I say this not to preach at you, but to come alongside you, to show you I’m here where you are. But there’s too much good out there for you to stay here. You don’t have to walk this road. There’s a better one out there, and it’s calling your name. Will you answer the call?

Think about it. Better yet: pray about it. I’ll be here if you have questions, or need to talk about it with someone. And I’ll definitely be praying for you, that you come home to the loving arms of the King. 

Until next time

May Peace be your guide.