#10 Your Oasis

I think everyone should have an oasis. That one sacred space in their lives where they can tune the world out and punch the reset button. Whether it’s taking long drives in your car, going for a walk, or hitting the gym, we all need a space to completely forget about our world and get lost in another one. When we take some time to tune into another world, it gives us fresh insights when we come back. It’s almost like looking back at a memory. You can start to have those moments where you say “dang, I’ve been putting up with that?” Except, you’re still in the middle of it, so you have a chance to re-arrange things before they get out of hand. 

I imagine this like your house when it’s dark outside. It’s bright, it’s warm, and you can see a huge difference when you flip on the light switch. Everyone needs a getaway every now and then, even if it’s just for a couple of hours. It helps us see our lives for what they really are. Sometimes we have been living in the darkness for so long that we get used to certain things. You put your boss that sucks in the back of your mind, your partner’s harsh tone starts becoming the norm. Then one day we catch even the tiniest bit of a break and it all clicks. We don’t intellectualize what’s wrong with our lives, but we feel it. You have a moment where you wake up and go “dang, my life sucks.” 

My oasis is the movie theater. I could probably list on one hand the number of times I have left the movies feeling worse than when I came in (and even fewer where I simply walked out early.) It forces me to spend two to three hours glued to a chair, getting sucked into a world very far from my own. And as much as I anticipate a good movie, it’s the moment I step out of the theater that I’m always excited to experience. Not because I’m eager to leave the theater, but it’s a great moment to see where my life needs work. I can see how I feel about the condition my life is in. 

For example, just today I came out of “Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes,” (which was a great movie, by the way,) and thought to myself “dang, I got lost in the woods again, didn’t I?” It has been a hectic year, and I realized walking out of the theater that I had lost my footing again. In case you didn’t know, I’m one of the most consistent people you’ll ever meet. I could actually tell you what I had for breakfast six months ago today (it was cereal bars. I changed it to protein shakes two months ago when my protein levels were dropping. Take that!) Except, I haven’t been able to maintain a steady rhythm all stinking year! One thing after another has come up and not one week has been truly normal. I realized in that moment that I was absolutely dying from a lack of consistency. I felt like a traveler, far away from home. 

But realizing that you’re off track is a beautiful thing because you’re acknowledging that the tracks exist! Once you recognize this, you can begin to make your way back towards what you lost. Whether it’s the amount of time you spend with the people closest to you, how busy your schedule is or how worn out you are, the first step towards a solution is to recognize that you have a problem. And I have found that solving problems isn’t typically that tricky, it’s finding ways to spot a problem before you blow up that’s tricky. And that’s why I say everyone should find an oasis: it’s your very own problem radar! 

So how do you go about finding an oasis? First of all, check your schedule: what can you make time for? What fits into the schedule you have? It may take some trial-and-error, but don’t expect to always be excited about your oasis when you think about it. I know some days I have to force myself off of the floor and into the car to drive to the movies. Even as far as the first twenty minutes of a showing, my mind will start kicking and screaming. “Do we really want to find out how this ends? Do we seriously still care?” That agitated part of me will nag for a bit. But once you push back, it’ll eventually settle down and you will thank yourself for overcoming that hurdle. 

When testing things out, set a completion marker before you start. You might commit to 30 minutes on the treadmill, or finishing an entire book. Whatever it is, don’t quit because your brain is kicking back. The oasis is a sacred place where the stress isn’t welcome. It will take some time for it to accept its place in the doghouse, instead of on the couch being fed grapes. But once it leaves, it will be silent for a good amount of time. It’s also important that you be intentional about keeping the space separate. Avoid looking at your phone at all costs when you’re away. And if you have to use it, limit your usage to whatever you absolutely need it for. Set it to “Do Not Disturb,” and keep one line open for emergencies only. Inform anyone that needs to know that you can’t be bothered for a bit, then completely check out. Once you get your oasis cleaned up and open for business, you will thank yourself for creating the experience you needed to be able to come back and deal with everyday life. 

But you need to be responsible with this space. Sure, sometimes you will need to take extended trips, but it will be easy to abuse the comfort. This isn’t a place you were meant to live. It’s only there for a brief getaway. Hold yourself accountable to that idea, and be ready to deny yourself a trip from time to time if your habits start getting out of hand. Let others help you out with this as well. Sometimes you don’t notice the subtle drift until someone points out where you are at. Make sure you have those people in your life that can show you how you are handling things. 

I pray you find your oasis, that special place that helps you get out of your head for a bit. If you have found it, celebrate the fact that you have such a blessed gift in your life. Use it well to help you reset yourself. And when you come back, take a good hard look at how you feel and ask yourself “what am I going to do about it?” I pray you are able to better your life through the use of your oasis, and that God blesses you with a glorious place if you haven’t found one yet.

Until next time

May Peace be your Guide.